So I went to Parklife right. It sucked. I didn't see you there either, probs because I am really fucking short and I couldn't see anyone/anything. The only thing I really actually remember seeing is this giant douche in huge painters overalls lobbing the fuck out and kind of gaying the fuck out with some other dick, and these two idiots dressed as Mario and Luigi. Bowser went up to them and said HEY IM BOWSER YOWW. I remember that too I guess.
Anyway I've been wanting to complain about something for a while, which is WHY THE FUCK DO PEOPLE TAKE SO FUCKING LONG IN THE FUCKING TOILET AT FESTIVALS AND OR NIGHTCLUBS OR EVEN IN SHOPPING CENTRES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY, I REMEMBER THIS ONE LADY AT MIDLAND GATE TOOK ABOUT 10 FUCKING MINUTES IN THE STALL.
YOU GO INSIDE, AND YOU PISS, AND THEN YOU WASH YOUR HANDS AND THEN YOU GET OUT. THAT IS WHAT YOU DO. SNORT YOUR SHITTY BATHTUB SPEED OUT IN THE OPEN BECAUSE NOBODY ACTUALLY EVEN GIVES A FUCK THAT YOU ARE DOING IT AND THE ONLY REASON THAT YOU ARE DOING IT IN A STALL AT ALL IS SO YOU CAN PRETEND THAT YOUR DRUG TAKING IS EXACTLY LIKE IN THE MOVIES AND YOU FEEL COOL. FUCK YOU. AND YOUR LITTLE DOG TOO.
I have actually been congratulated for being "really quick" in toilets before. I'm not actually "quick". I am just a sensible human being that PISSES AND THEN GETS THE FUCK OUT.
Also I got my drink spiked at the after party, so if it was you, and you are reading this. Then FUCK YOU.
Yeah, I've got my anger back. Feels good.
3 hours ago