Thursday, March 25, 2010


TODAY AT TAFE I MADE A TRULY DISTURBING DISCOVERY. i opened the "class cuboard" which is where everyone stores there coffee etc. i use it as a place of snack, storing my miso soup, black and gold tomatoe soup and youll love coles vegetable soup. i also left a conatiner of sunflower seeds in there. some jerk ATE ALL MY SUNFLOWER SEEDS and left the empty container there. what a tool, i mean you dont go too steal pants and then just decide too leave the pockets behind. JESUS.
i could rant endlessly about what kind of fucking turd would steal sunflower seeds? its pretty much bird food. god damn it i wouldve had more respect if you at least stole the miso. i know im a perplexing mystery for owning them in the first place but god damn it im on a budget. not all of us can luxuriously chew muesli baaahs. DONUT STEAL MY FOOD OR ILL CRUSH YR SOUL!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Normal Update

So I have been a normal, well adjusted member of society for like three whole weeks. The "normal" thing I am most pscyhed on right now is my lanyard!! Normal people have been wearing these joints for a million years and they carry their ID and smartriders in them. When you go to conferences you get promotional lanyards. Nina said when she was in highschool she had a roxy lanyard with nothing attached to it, I don't know what went on there.

I'm not important enough to go to conferences yet but I made my own lanyard out of cord. It has my ID in it, which is my key to get into the building, and my lab key, and my USB on it. This is your basic lanyard and I hope to customise it soon. Eventually I want to have a mini calculator and a pen on my lanyard.

I have found when you have a lanyard on, people think you are more important than you actually are. Lecturers nod at me when I have it on, but avert their eyes when it's off. It is like the pocket protector of 2010. It's like I am wearing khakis with running shoes but not really (haven't committed that yet).


XOXO Clare

Saturday, March 13, 2010


Here’s what I’m thinking about when I leave my house for social occasions:
• How much booze I have
• Whether how much booze I have is enough to get off chops
• Where to get more booze if I run out
• Whether anyone will notice if I steal their beer
• Whether my lipstick is all over my face yet
• Whether I should go swimming on the walk home
• What will I eat when I get home
• Whether anyone will walk to mcdonalds with me
• Whether I know anyone with a car who could drive me to mcdonalds
• What I am going to order at mcdonalds
• Hoping that I don’t finish all my meal so I can leave my burger in the fridge and eat it the next day.
• Whether I have enough money to get mcdonalds
• Whether I should just have a vegemite sandwich

Here’s what I’m not thinking about:
• Being sociable
• Meeting new people
• Hating on people I barely know
• Scheming
• Giving “evils”

OK?? Is that clear?? This has happened to me twice before and I think it happens to Gracey 100% of the time, where people think you hate them but really you just don't talk to new people because your social skills are weird and also because you can't be bothered trying. Cool, glad I cleared that up. Also I'm not scary and I have a stuffed penguin on my bed.

Love Clare xoxoxo


just finished reading "post office" and prior too that "brave new world".
i really want too know, is there any books i NEED too read and have neglected too, like really important ones that im possibly missing out on.
im useless with movies, ive never seen akira, the matrix III and i dont really know who david lynch or wes anderson or quentin tarentino are, but i have seen kill bill once.
hmmm. i always think its interesting too know peoples favourites, like it might give you some secret inside too their brain or something. or maybe a reflection of their personality? like a serial killers favourite book might be "how too leave a crime scene undetected" but at that point you dont know theyre a serial killer and then yr like "oh."



cull the steel heart, melt the ice one, love the weak thing; say nothing of consolation, but irrelevance, disaster and nonexistence; have no hope or hate - nothing; ruin yourself exclusively, completely and whenever possible.

(i dont care if its faggy to like the contemporary author tao lin, i think hes a genuis)


anyone ever heard of swampdonkey? hes an artist, of american origins i presume. he has a flickr account
the tattoo looks amazing.


these are some sick "picture blogs" im so intoo them, have printed heaps of the pics out.

also , this ones a bit more fash orientated, still great


a short novella compiled by (NME)

#1. YELLING, charlie is always yelling, muttering, screaming. the short of it is, its beautiful and a necessary outlet for expressing yourself, as an artist i really respect that kind of self-expression. i live in a BIG house. so big its been coined "WOOMANSION" cause 5 sexy ladys live there and its sexy and big like a mansion. theres alot of breast fondling and but slapping and im not actually joking. if we had cameras we could make alotta money. anyway, like i said the house is of a large sized persuasion so i now feel comfortable yelling my way through the house. i yell at clare upstairs, i yell at ppl sitting on the toilet. i yell the shit out of it!

#2. DIRTY PRANKS, in the episode "the gang goes jihad" charlie throws a pooey paper bag flaming missile intoo a construction site cause the dudes their are starting beef and trying too take half the bar. in laymans terms theyre fucking jerks. as a collective the woomansion began thinking about ppl who were straight up shit bitches. im not talking about yr ex boyfriend or that girl from highschool, blah blah reflective story im talking DOWNTOWN jerks. we thought of our racist, classist, pig faced ex-neighbour who once called the realestate agency on us for not putting our bin out. as a collective we dressed in black, like the night, we drew maps and pumped up the tyres on our fierce bicycles, we roped in kats friend and explained the game plan. we collected some illegeal weapons (eggs) and we raped their car with chicken mensturation. we also added some flour just so the bmw would be that slight bit harder too clean. we clinked glasses of tang, we cheered and we were sweaty. it was a magical moment. revenge is a dish best served with a side of tang.

#3. JUST AN AWKWARD MEETING BETWEEN FRIENDS AT THE WELFARE STORE, its true, like dee says you get on the welfare too help make yr pipe dreams realitys. all of woomansion are members of the welfare store. we all study as well, but it would probably sound a bit more glamorous if i lefty that bit out.

#4. BIZ MARKIE REVIVAL, also in the welfare episode dee and dennis are choc chillin hardcore on a step stoop, drinking longnecks from brown paper bags and having ghetto rolls in their jeans and singing along too " just a friend". so much passion in this song. very moving. a constant youtube tune for myself.

#5. IMPORTANT LOOKING OUTFITS, whenever mac "dresses up" he wears his polo shirt, with a tie. haha. when i had too go too court cause some losers wouldnt give us our bond money back i tried channeling macs vibe. i, of course ended up looking like a conservative mormon in my court outfit and there was not a polo shirt or tie in sight, but my spirit was definetly wearing macs superior clothing choice. ps. we won the court case.

#6. MY FAVOURITE LINES, they bring me so much pleasure and many hearty lols. like "im gurner eat yr babies" or "im gurner stab him... im gurner stab his face off" just thinking about it makes me need too urinate, in a nice way.

#7. CHARLIE, CHARLIE, CHALIE, i have the biggest boner for charlie. not only is he a hairy manly attractive specimen he is amazingly charismatic and humorous. what a dreamboat, slight attraction too danger and violence, makes great sandwiches, a generous helping of the crazies and such devotion too his chosen woman. cuuute!

theres more, i will continue too add but i must be off too eat food. its always sunny in philadelphia is the best tv show ever!

Friday, March 12, 2010


henry chinaski/charles bukowski makes me LAUGH. OUT LOUD.
(even when im alone)
i procrastinate about doing homework then end up sitting outside, reading, inhaling, laughing.
i bet every betty who reads one of his novels thinks "i could be that crazy broad hes banging" ditto!
as a side note... i feel like my brain is broken. i feel like im back at towerridge lying at the end of gracey and james's bed, like their naughty, destructive foster child, still wasted from last night, having epiphanies and scrawling across pages in messy writing.
i feel too old too act so childish.

but damn, sometimes it feels GEWD.
being hung over is so gay and reflective.

Thursday, March 11, 2010


theres a new perth zine out now, "FREEDOM IS FREE".

interviews include: vanity, battletruk, bridge the gap, suffer, coffin cut records
and extortion.

the first issue comes with a cd and/or
download coupon with new tracks from the bands interviewed including
the unreleased extortion track "

FIF#1 is available at any of the bands shows or email

Friday, March 5, 2010

The New System

Kind of along the lines of what Ben Menzies has recently been talking about (via how good lists are), I've been thinking a lot about systems and categories. Systemizin' and Categorizin' people is great! It's an easy way to slot them into your life and not have to think about things a whole lot cus your brain is already busy enough with cuties, parties and drinkies, right?

So, Jesse Chip and I have come up with a fullproof system/categorization of girls. Every single girl (or guz, depending on how you look at the situation) falls into one of two categories. Everyone. Your mum, your nan, everyone you went to primary school with, the girl you see every morning on the 7.45 from the corner of 4th and Beaufort into town, Jo Beth Taylor, Annik Skelton, your sister, everyone you know.

They're either a would, or a wouldn't.

Would or wouldn't what, right? Well, they either would sleep with your boyfriend/recent ex boyfriend/boy you got a crush on/whatever or they just.wouldn' Most of your friends are probably wouldn't, cus they're your friends, right? You can still be friends with woulds!! They need love too!! They are usually the greatest party friends to have!! They generally know how to get free drinks and which DJ to hit up for free drugs. The only downside is having to talk to a bunch of dudes you normally wouldn't give the time of day, but hey, you're getting free drinks/drugs out of it, stop complaining. The best things in life are free, like hanging out with RZA. You just gotta watch for the warning signs around your boyfriend/recent ex boyfriend/boy you got a crush on/whatever.

Think about it. Every single person you know falls into one of these categories. They have to because they cover 100% of the gender of females (apart from lesbians but just imagine a girly man where I say boy or something). Of course 'Wouldn'ts' make mistakes. Everyone does!! Sometimes good people do bad stuff!! But if you can think of any example where you think that I am wrong via some retarded shit that your friends or you have done, email me at and I will prove you wrong. For free.

Wouldn't's are your Beyonces. They are your homegirls. You got them and they got you. So go forth and spread the word. You now have a new thing to sneer at someone you don't like that they definitely won't understand. Viva la Wouldn'ts! Party with Would's! Girls 4 LIAF!