The other GG

Cool shit should happen more often.

iPhone Melburn

Jimmy Hats from toetags and I went on a little jaunt to Melbourne last week. A few days before I was due to leave one of my younger brothers perpetually slightly overweight bourbon-stickyed hands friend's digits got a little bit stickier due to them teeving my camera, so I was forced to take the iPhone that I am slightly scared of interstate just to take pictures while I kept drunkenly msging and calling people on my Nokia that is older than a seedy electro DJ. As such I'm not even entirely sure of the content of some of these pictures but they include my friend Karli trying to call the cheeseburger factory, my friend Cinti's house, me wearing real big pants, some crotches and a whole lot of the pokies, I think. I kept forgetting I had it and the blessed thing died 4 days into the trip.
































Favourite other things that happened included skate premier at Radio, giving a junkie a free slushie, seeing a procession of downers, Eggs Benedict, a taxi driver telling me that I am definitely okay when Tribulation comes because Jesus told him directly in his head that anyone that got into his cab and had slightly Christian morals that he prayed for would be saved, graffiti in the toilets of Footscray train station, anything Karli did, most things Brass did, living in a hotel for a week, rescuing Jimmy Hats from police, room service, being bloganized in a diff state and Madame Brussells.

You Like Butts

"That 8 year old transgender dude is boneable" - Ryan Boserio. He also has a new website.

All this is true, y'all

For a year and a half I worked in a job that I was contractually obligated not to talk about but since it has been half a year since I was made redundant I think that now is the perfect time to talk about my ridiculous life as a chat room moderator. I would sit on my butt in an office for around 24 hours every week and make sure that pedophiles didn’t try to meet girls in alleyways and that these sickos didn’t try to meet up for suckysucky. I read some pretty sick shit and I definitely think I was less vulgar and detached before working there.

It was hard due to the weird hours (I worked from 3am until 9.30am on my 21st birthday) and my inability to not fall asleep at every shift. When I told people about my job they thought it was so exciting, and for the first week it was but after that, websex got totally boring and I’m the DEFINITION of red blooded female. And I love gay porn.

When I was having dinner at a hotel in Singapore with my family and some friends my mum asked me a little tipsily “what’s the worst thing you’ve seen on the chat rooms?” to which I replied “well that depends” “on what?” “on what you think is worse, child molestation or bestiality, my personal belief is child molestation”. And then silence.

It had ceased to shock me. I found out a 17 year old girl had agreed to meet up with a guy on the chat room in an alleyway. At night. She got raped and my response was “that dumb bitch!” because I spent my life trying to get these pervturds away from these girls but they were determined to defy me. And nobody defies me.

So that you can get an idea of what I had to deal with here is a conversation between two people on said chat rooms. The names have been change to avoid me getting sued.

P: waiting for K
P: hi
P: I live in cabarroguis
K: sorry I cause I am busytalking with my mother president
P: ok
K: my mother president wants to know if you are the owner of yahoo
K: he also wants to kill liars and wants to prison it
K: bbut I never say that you are a liar
P: ok
K: my mother told me that she gets fucked so hard
P: did u
K: nope my mother only
K: she get so fucked earlier
P: by who
K: her bodyguard
K: but its been interrupted cause she get caught by my father the first gentlemen
P: what about your dad/
K: my dad gets angry Babe cause he caught my mother sucking the cock of her body guard
P: have you been fuck before
K: yes but not my bodyguard
P: who then
K: before we have fucked by matt daemon
K: he fucks me so hard
P: who is matt daemon
K: and I swallow his cock so deep
K: he is a popular Hollywood actor
P: I’m famous I play with the ros in soccer
K: he is the satarring if the movie black hawk
P: can I fuck you
K: sure
P: so hardly
K: yes babe
K: you have any messenger?
P: yes
K: what is it babe?
P: I want to lick your pussy and fuck you
K: what is your messenger id?
P: do you like me
K: cause I will add you
K: usually I am the owner of msn
P: Im going to kill matt daemon
K: actually I am the owner of msn
K: why will you kill him?
P: im going to kill matt daemon
K: why babe?
P: because you suck his cock
K: can I help you to kill him? I want to shoot him with my magnum
K: are you jealy with matt daemon
P: I live in cabarroguis
P: I’m going to kill him right now
P: nobody could stopme
K: go on babe
K: so sad I cant be with you to kill him
P: I thought u were straight
K: I suck his cock and swallow his egg
K: but it tastes salty
P: Im going to kill you too
K: why will you kill me?
K: is your salty too?
P: you swallow his egg
K: is your cock salty too?
K: yes
K: I swallow his egg
P: I’m going to kill your family
K: you cannot do that
P: yes I can
K: I am the daughter of the president
K: and we have securities here
K: e have many soldiers
P: I’m the famous person in the world
P: I have a lot o guns
K: why I didn’t know you?
P: you mess with the wrong guy
K: if you are popular?
K: I will kill you now
K: I detected where you stay
P: fuck you
K: you have been traced by my mafias
P: u beem traced my latinkings bitch
P: gangs
K: I dont care
K: sadam husien is my friend
P: better stay alarmed because on the nught I’m going to f u
P: hoe
P: sadam husien sucked my cock all day and swallowed ,y eeg
K: I can assassinate you
P: do iit
P: u are finr
P: fine
P: u r hot
P: b etter stay quiet bitch
K: I don’t care
P: fuck you hoe slud bitch putoa\
P: @) d
P: ;( u r going to br like him

And then (P) reported (K) to us, they were both subsequently banned.

Love can take such peculiar turns

"How are people getting to COD" you axe?

By Googling singapore girl like sucking cock of course.

Being the first thing that comes up when you type in sucking cock guide is something a young girl-blogger often dreams of but for that dream to be realised is something of wonderous fiction.

WHEN I GROW UP

when i grow up i donut want too be in jerk town. im really not a jerk but i think i could probably work on being a bit more "demure". 

i am pretty hilarious when im wasted and un demure though, i think thered be alot of backlash and uproar if i started tip toeing around like a swan too give the allusion of "floating" instead of crawling, barfing, bruising up my legs etc. etc.

HMMM... okay ill try too work on my posture for now. and maybe saying the f-word less. but its so great for emphasis i think im going too lament the lack of edge in my boring day too day language. 

 

I MISS MELBOURNE. I MISS MILLIONS OF DUMPLINGS AND DARDYS FOR PLEASURE. OH THE PLEASURE. I WISH MY JOB WAS TOO BE ON HOLIDAY IM REALLY GOOD AT IT! HEY GRACEY WHILE YR THERE GO TOO "BIRDMAN EATING" ON GERTRUDE STREET. ITS FOOD HEAVEN!!

Nice Dreams

I had a dream the other night that one of my friend's brothers was bragging about high school and I got so jealous that I drove my car to Melbourne and illegally enrolled in high school. It was rad until the police started questioning me.

Someone tried to sell me a packet of chips.