Story my mum just told me

A woman my mum used to work with went for office drinks recently. There is a wiry middle aged woman in her office who never talks to anyone and everyone hates her. She came along.

Officedudeswife: (something stupid)
Officedude: You don't know what you're talking about you wanker
Wiryweirdwoman: excuse me, you just called your wife a wanker
Officedude: yeah?
Wiryweirdwoman: only men wank. women don't wank
Officedude: okay
Wiryweirdwoman: can we please talk about wanking?
Everyone: no
Wiryweirdwoman: no, can we please talk about wanking?
Everyone: no
(this goes on for a while)
Everyone: fine, what do you want to say about it?
Wiryweirdwoman: I do it every day
Everyone: ???
Wiryweirdwoman: Like, as soon as I get home from work...everyday. sometimes I use two fingers but mostly I use four.

This was the first thing she had ever said to anyone.

Now everyone waves at her like this


If anyone has any questions about wanking (or related) please email me at axe_da_cod@hotmail.com