OWNING IT

OKAY GUYS so I think everyone needs a lesson on owning their mistakes.

Every time an embarrassing tale comes out about a friend I am like "seriously, why the fuck didn't you fucking own that shit?"

Owning it is when something awful/shit/embarrassing happens to you and you tell anyone who will listen about it. Then you own it and nobody can give you shit. Or if they try it isn't that much fun.

You can be all like "OI last night some guy I met off the Internet rimmed me! It was like bulk-buying terrible nuts" and no matter how hard your friends try to make fun of you they hardly get any satisfaction out of it. If they start calling you "rimmy" or "rimmy weasley" you just start writing rimmy on your water bottles/pens/books etc. Then you own it, do you see the logic?

So anyway here is a story THAT I OWN (because the aforementioned story was made up and not about me).

One time I was peeing in an alleyway near the Scotsman and I lost my balance while attempting to pull up my pants and fell face first into my own pee puddle. I just picked myself up, brushed myself off and asked everyone if they fancied a swim.

I then made the mistake of telling one person. You never know who one person may tell, so you better own that shit. And I did. All my dirtbag friends know that story and I never get shit about it and if I do I'm all like "yeah, it happened, I dealt with it and am a better person because of it".


*Artist impression (not accurate because all artists eat ball hair (R.Boserio))

*some people have asked me if I did what was in the tagline, the answer is NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT, I had actually just had an enema.