BLERGS

these are some sick "picture blogs" im so intoo them, have printed heaps of the pics out.

PRETTY.

www.ghostwerld.wordpress.com

blog.yimmyayo.com

also knighttcat.com , this ones a bit more fash orientated, still great

ITS ALWAYS SUNNY

WAYS THAT ITS ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA CHANGED MY LIFE

a short novella compiled by (NME)

#1. YELLING, charlie is always yelling, muttering, screaming. the short of it is, its beautiful and a necessary outlet for expressing yourself, as an artist i really respect that kind of self-expression. i live in a BIG house. so big its been coined "WOOMANSION" cause 5 sexy ladys live there and its sexy and big like a mansion. theres alot of breast fondling and but slapping and im not actually joking. if we had cameras we could make alotta money. anyway, like i said the house is of a large sized persuasion so i now feel comfortable yelling my way through the house. i yell at clare upstairs, i yell at ppl sitting on the toilet. i yell the shit out of it!

#2. DIRTY PRANKS, in the episode "the gang goes jihad" charlie throws a pooey paper bag flaming missile intoo a construction site cause the dudes their are starting beef and trying too take half the bar. in laymans terms theyre fucking jerks. as a collective the woomansion began thinking about ppl who were straight up shit bitches. im not talking about yr ex boyfriend or that girl from highschool, blah blah reflective story im talking DOWNTOWN jerks. we thought of our racist, classist, pig faced ex-neighbour who once called the realestate agency on us for not putting our bin out. as a collective we dressed in black, like the night, we drew maps and pumped up the tyres on our fierce bicycles, we roped in kats friend and explained the game plan. we collected some illegeal weapons (eggs) and we raped their car with chicken mensturation. we also added some flour just so the bmw would be that slight bit harder too clean. we clinked glasses of tang, we cheered and we were sweaty. it was a magical moment. revenge is a dish best served with a side of tang.

#3. JUST AN AWKWARD MEETING BETWEEN FRIENDS AT THE WELFARE STORE, its true, like dee says you get on the welfare too help make yr pipe dreams realitys. all of woomansion are members of the welfare store. we all study as well, but it would probably sound a bit more glamorous if i lefty that bit out.

#4. BIZ MARKIE REVIVAL, also in the welfare episode dee and dennis are choc chillin hardcore on a step stoop, drinking longnecks from brown paper bags and having ghetto rolls in their jeans and singing along too " just a friend". so much passion in this song. very moving. a constant youtube tune for myself.

#5. IMPORTANT LOOKING OUTFITS, whenever mac "dresses up" he wears his polo shirt, with a tie. haha. when i had too go too court cause some losers wouldnt give us our bond money back i tried channeling macs vibe. i, of course ended up looking like a conservative mormon in my court outfit and there was not a polo shirt or tie in sight, but my spirit was definetly wearing macs superior clothing choice. ps. we won the court case.

#6. MY FAVOURITE LINES, they bring me so much pleasure and many hearty lols. like "im gurner eat yr babies" or "im gurner stab him... im gurner stab his face off" just thinking about it makes me need too urinate, in a nice way.

#7. CHARLIE, CHARLIE, CHALIE, i have the biggest boner for charlie. not only is he a hairy manly attractive specimen he is amazingly charismatic and humorous. what a dreamboat, slight attraction too danger and violence, makes great sandwiches, a generous helping of the crazies and such devotion too his chosen woman. cuuute!

theres more, i will continue too add but i must be off too eat food. its always sunny in philadelphia is the best tv show ever!

IT BEGAN AS A MISTAKE

henry chinaski/charles bukowski makes me LAUGH. OUT LOUD.

(even when im alone)

i procrastinate about doing homework then end up sitting outside, reading, inhaling, laughing.

i bet every betty who reads one of his novels thinks "i could be that crazy broad hes banging" ditto!

as a side note... i feel like my brain is broken. i feel like im back at towerridge lying at the end of gracey and james's bed, like their naughty, destructive foster child, still wasted from last night, having epiphanies and scrawling across pages in messy writing.

i feel too old too act so childish.

but damn, sometimes it feels GEWD.

being hung over is so gay and reflective.

NEW ZINE OUT!

theres a new perth zine out now, "FREEDOM IS FREE".

interviews include: vanity, battletruk, bridge the gap, suffer, coffin cut records
and extortion.

the first issue comes with a cd and/or
download coupon with new tracks from the bands interviewed including
the unreleased extortion track "...decompose".

FIF#1 is available at any of the bands shows or email patagia@hotmail.com

The New System

Kind of along the lines of what Ben Menzies has recently been talking about (via how good lists are), I've been thinking a lot about systems and categories. Systemizin' and Categorizin' people is great! It's an easy way to slot them into your life and not have to think about things a whole lot cus your brain is already busy enough with cuties, parties and drinkies, right?

So, Jesse Chip and I have come up with a fullproof system/categorization of girls. Every single girl (or guz, depending on how you look at the situation) falls into one of two categories. Everyone. Your mum, your nan, everyone you went to primary school with, the girl you see every morning on the 7.45 from the corner of 4th and Beaufort into town, Jo Beth Taylor, Annik Skelton, your sister, everyone you know.

They're either a would, or a wouldn't.

Would or wouldn't what, right? Well, they either would sleep with your boyfriend/recent ex boyfriend/boy you got a crush on/whatever or they just.wouldn't.do.that. Most of your friends are probably wouldn't, cus they're your friends, right? You can still be friends with woulds!! They need love too!! They are usually the greatest party friends to have!! They generally know how to get free drinks and which DJ to hit up for free drugs. The only downside is having to talk to a bunch of dudes you normally wouldn't give the time of day, but hey, you're getting free drinks/drugs out of it, stop complaining. The best things in life are free, like hanging out with RZA. You just gotta watch for the warning signs around your boyfriend/recent ex boyfriend/boy you got a crush on/whatever.

Think about it. Every single person you know falls into one of these categories. They have to because they cover 100% of the gender of females (apart from lesbians but just imagine a girly man where I say boy or something). Of course 'Wouldn'ts' make mistakes. Everyone does!! Sometimes good people do bad stuff!! But if you can think of any example where you think that I am wrong via some retarded shit that your friends or you have done, email me at grace_dewhurst@hotmail.com and I will prove you wrong. For free.

Wouldn't's are your Beyonces. They are your homegirls. You got them and they got you. So go forth and spread the word. You now have a new thing to sneer at someone you don't like that they definitely won't understand. Viva la Wouldn'ts! Party with Would's! Girls 4 LIAF!

BABYS RAPPED IN TOWELS

for a minute there i thought i wrote "babys raped in towels" but for the record i bean tiny humans (babys) rapping (poetry you say out loud).

thats right, im cute, i think an impromptu rap battle is "freelance rap" and that rapping is "poetry spoken aloud". fuck you.

anyway today i was cleaning my room and i found the babyrap i wrote the night baby raps was launched (see previous posts) i was real excited, probably high on coffee and i wrote one, giddy at the chance of interacting/contributing/creating with some of perth's most notorious perthonalities. haha. HI!

yr baby stinks like corn poop.*

my babys popping ill hoops.

yr babys lobbing, air fisting too M.I.A.

my baby slam dances so rad he should be in taking back sunday.

yr babys got a ticket too good vibes.

my babys chillin, whippin cars with his ghost ride.

THE END!

*if you dont know me, you think im crazy, crazy girl who loves talking about poo and butt sickness. I BLAME ALEXI. and i mean that in a good way. anyway babys poo, ITS APPROPRIATE. babys dont poo on command. super spontaneous, uncontrollable, tornado. of poo.

WHAT UP RANDOM DUDE WHO AXED ME FOR ONE DOLLAR?

it was a leisurely walk in the park. only it wasnt leisurely it was FMLHOT and i wasnt in the park, i was walking next too it.

the heat, the heat, im a sweaty slab of meat. probably dehydrated but in good spirits noune the less. if you could see my aura it wouldve been red, the colour of love because im in love with centrelink and red, the colour of me exploring satans asshole, many fiery chasms too explore.

so yes, walking next too the park, up a hill, i think i was even listening too "running up that hill" by kate bush (how appropriate) but i dont run because i walk because im super casual like that.

i see a man up ahead, stepping out of his car, walking towards the park. i think "i wish i was actually going too the park! that would be fun! on a picnic!" but this man definetly wasnt going on a picnic. he looked PISSED. i saw his mouth contort so i took my headphones out.. "doyerhaveonedollarineedathapayphone" too which i replied "sorry i dont have no money, not one.." then he yelled "WHATEVER!!!!" and stormed off.

i kept laughing too myself, if i did have a dollar i surely would have purchased a cold beverage by now, and when you asked me for coin i wouldve gone ayoo agrum agro on yr jerk face.

YOU HAVE A CAR. MY TOTAL PERSONAL POSSESIONS ARE WORTH LIKE 300 DOLLARS. BEAT IT. i wanted too nail his ass. it reminds me of that bukowski novel "pulp" where he wants too nail everyones ass. except when he says it, its kind of erotic, and if i say it I MEAN BUSINESS.

apart from that ive had a lovely day. in my future i forsee many cold beverages, probably drunk from carved coconuts and probably ones you cant pronounce.

never leave, its true i really never have too leave because the government came through for me, soon i will have a dollar and im not giving it too anyone!! mine!! a million kisses!!!!

love always,

NME.