Man that dude is CRAZY and everybody has had a phase where they like the bad boys. Please tell me you have never fantasized about being held captive by a homosexual hick who enjoys kimonos and tucking his dick between his legs SO I CAN CALL YOU A LIAR. He also has a nipple piercing and some weird tattoos which has additional piss-off-your-dad points.
2. Sexy Gynecologist
Can you IMAGINE a sexy gyno? Of course you can, even I can imagine it and my gyno is a VERY JUDGEMENTAL middle aged Indian woman. I also like sterile surroundings. I think it is because my apartment is disgusting.
3. Elliot Slabler
Clare and Gracie laughed at me because this fantasy is not very sexual. Basically in this fantasy Chris Malone and I meet at a New York roof top party, I am charming and he is especially taken by me and asks me to the Emmys. Obvs I say yes and we go and heaps of reporters ask "who is this new kid on the block?" and "what are you wearing?" etc etc. Then we go back to a hotel and intercourse each other. Whatever, that isn't even the important part. Mmmmmm the Emmys.
4. Jason Sudeikis
We meet after I move to New York and become a writer for SNL (a fantasy I have had since I was 10). It's kind of like a rom com, we don't click at first, we even fucking hate each other! But then we realise our hate for each other is a barrier we have built to save ourselves from the agony of LOVE!!! And then we BONE. Kewwwl.
5. Jason Segal
He just drills me, no frills.
Honorable mentions: being Maid Marion in the BBC production of Robin Hood, Being Veronica Mars with her sexy PI skills and sassy wit, Mr Rochester, Naomi and Emily from Skins (ghey and gay), being Don Draper's lover, Mr Darcy (obvs).
If you have any sexual questions send them to me (Gemmer) at axe_da_cod@hotmail.com
Kewl? Kewl.
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