NonBeyonces

This is yet another edition of "Girls you should stay the fuck away from." by Gracey Ophelia.

Playing the victim role ("poor me"): Manipulator portrays him- or herself as a victim of circumstance or of someone else's behavior in order to gain pity, sympathy or evoke compassion and thereby get something from another. Caring and conscientious people cannot stand to see anyone suffering and the manipulator often finds it easy to play on sympathy to get cooperation.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_manipulation

I've had a rule since I was 17 or so that goes a little something like; "Anyone that tells me some godawful 'thing' that happened to them the first time I meet them is either a crazy bitch or a pathological liar and I should not have anything to do with them because they will either a) keep being crazy or b) lie to me heaps more." It started with this girl I met in an atrium of a friends house who greeted me with "My boyfriend died in my arms from a smack overdose 3 years ago."

As Bowser so eloquently puts it "You gotta lube it up before you stick it in, man."

While sharing secrets is one of the reasons why our hair is so big (cus it's filled with them), Beyonces are generally pretty guarded with the real big ones. Anyone that gives them away for freezies isn't worth my time as it's a classic symptom of a case of the crazies. Avoid at all cost!

I give attention seekers;
3 stars for comedy value
negative one billion stars for upsetting people who actually had bad things happen to them
5 stars for being hot. The crazies always are.