Yahoo Answers

Today I posted my first ever question on Yahoo Answers. I was expecting real advice (that's what its for, right?). Instead I mostly got judged by some internet losers who call eachother by their first names even though they have never met, and probably the closest they get to eachother is when their avatars on Second Life says "hai" to eachother before flying off to play guitar (everything I know about Second Life is from the American Office).

Here was my question:

How do I convince my little sister that I am secretly her mother?

I want to play an elaborate joke on my sister. We are ten years apart and I would have had to be ten years when I "had" her however she is not very smart. She also refused to take part in the sex ed classes offered at her school due it freaking her out too much, so her knowledge of the female reproductive system in limited.

I once convinced her that the island we were staying on in Singapore had dinosaurs on it so this shouldn't be too hard.

Please advise.

Here were my replies:

Jade Marie: ermm personally, i wouldn't play a practical joke like that because she might not ever trust you again because that is rather serious.

My response: Newsflash bitch: she doesn't trust me, that ship has sailed my friend. I have called her pretending to be a boy she likes, I have hijacked her facebook status to say she has pooped her pants. DEAL.

Galichealer: I agree with Jade you should not do that to your sister. She may be traumatized by what you want to tell.her. It is kind of cruel of you to even think of doing that to her.Your her older sister by 10 years you should be more mature and try to be a good example to her. You should not be mean to her.

My response: Your questions and answers are set to private making it hard for me to make fun of you. Well played.

Jean: Wouldn't it be better to do something for your little sister that helps her to respect and love you. You could actually be the person she looks up to. How smart is it to play jokes of this kind on her?

My response: She has known me for 13 years, I am beyond gaining her respect and love. Also, I think it is very smart to play an elaborate trick like this, it shows innovation, initiative and creativy.

Myzygo2: LOL .......
Cool.
That should freak her out. Family and friends should get a good laugh.
Have fun.

My response: Not really an answer but thanks for the support buddy!

Rachelle anne Zamori: Okay, she's gullible but she's onto you. She knows that you saying incredibly outlandish things stands a chance of not being true, so we'll take a two-pronged approach:
-Understate the case
-Hit her with overwhelming and emotionally shocking evidence.

Understatement is the easy part. I'm guessing that slipping the topic into a conversation will be easy for you, say, by talking about menstrual pains and then following it with 'well, at least it's nothing compared to forcing your head between my flaps'.

Secondly, you need the evidence. You'll need doctored photos of you pregnant, in labour, and holding her as a baby (you'll have to find some pictures of you at age ten) and a forged birth certificate. You'll need a middle-aged man who can wear a stethoscope and fake being a doctor. You'll probably have to fake a few shameful news articles culminating in your formerly-religious parents running from the town and setting up a new life somewhere else.

And, of course, you have to fake deep-seated emotional and relationship issues going back a decade. You'll do just fine.

My response: FINALLY someone using yahoo answers right and giving an honest answer to an honest question. Although the "you'll do just fine" at the end suggests it could possibly be a burn. TEVS, going to use her advice anyway. I think she is a porn star so she can't judge me.

So yeah, Yahoo Answers is a LOAD.