Last Night

After a large Friday night where I ended up letting people take my crutches and dance with them while I maniacally hopped on one foot waving my arms around, and chainsmoking until the sun came up, I felt a bit rubbish on Saturday evening, as you could possibly understand.
But, I went to Shape anyway, for reasons including bar cards, and how much I like my friends and junk. For some unknown reason I decided to ingest a capsule containing a bunch of these.


Joshy and I used to hit this shit quite a bit back in the day, but we had some form of break after we took a bunch and this ended up happening.


Yes, you are seeing correctly. Brass and I took a limo to the beach in the middle of the day while very fucking high with a guy that looks like a figurine of George Michael. We had to do this because we thought my house was evil, and we couldn't be there anymore. Or even go inside it. Brass kept yelling DONT LOOK AT YOUR FINGERNAILS and other such shit. By the end of the day, he was sunburnt, I was desperately trying to get drunk and we went to dim sum not being able to talk.

Anyway, last night I sat around like a giant chump while watching ugly boys with crap hair standing around like chumps, pawing their faces while "SAUSAGE FEST" quite clearly rolled through their heads. It was the strangest night I have ever encountered ever, probably because every single person at Shape, the entire 360 capacity filled club, was the most fucked up they have ever been. I am not kidding. There were girls walking around in circles with dead eyes, other girls hiding behind corners, guys picking each other up (literally, like, in the air and shit), fat pissed girls in white sheer leggings screaming "I AM REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY FUCKED OFF MY FACE" and some dude that asked me for a cigarette because he was "gurning" and after he smoked it said he'd see me inside for some "rave". Oh and Ryan Boserio was there too, but he was the most amazing drunk guy I've ever seen. Ever.

I didn't think that the caps were working and Joshy told me that it was probably because I had taken too many. They did end up working, 3 hours after I took it and for quite a long period of time I forgot how to walk, talk, function, sit, stand, and who I was. Then this guy showed up and made it so much worse.


2 hours of sheer hell. I am gonna stick to Stones for a while I think.


I hope you are looking this sad because you feel really fucking bad about how you left your tripping friend ALONE and just booted off! But in reality you are probably giving a romantic look to some girl and she is falling in love with you or some shit. Jerk.

I only felt human again after this combination.




EDIT: As a bonus feature, here is a photo of me while I was in the depths of hell with Screech.