Underrated Perthonalities

Perthonalities is a shit word and I hate it because it sounds like someone has lisped it. Ew. Also I can guarantee you the word 'Basil' and 'coke fiend' will be mentioned in any statement regarding Perthonalities. See I just did it. Anyway, I guess there are some well known people in this town that don't ever get any mad props, let alone just plain props, and this blog is a shout out to all my g's.

1. That Wheelchair Bitch Who Sings Alanis Morissette Songs In The City

Yeah, I know she can walk. That news is approximately (it's hard to count) one bazillion years old. I know she smokes CIGARETTES and hangs out with Central Park GOTHS too so keep your omgs to yourself. This girl has some pretty rad entrepreneurial skills though, how many out of towners do you think give her sympathy money? Bulk, that's how many. One time she was on my M line train, I sat across from her and basically hyperventilated I was so star struck. P.S. - I think that's a Jewel song.

2. Walker

This one is a bit Western Suburbs, but a lot of you are nodding your heads right now. I did a shit job of capturing his little Gumby legs and his sun stained stubbies and bonds shirt, but you know, MS Paint. I also forgot what is in his wheelbarrow, my mom says he paints sheets of carboard yellow but I think that's an urban myth. Anyway, BOMBSHELL! Walker lives around the corner from my parents' house with his son. He does his washing by lying out all his wet clothes on the driveway and letting the sun do its work. I respect that. People say he walks up and down Stirling Highway because he was diagnosed with blood clots in his legs, but I think it's probably more a Forrest Gump deal. Gemma's brother dressed up as Walker to a party once, A++.

3. Patriotic Lady on a Bike

This lady is really old, I drew wrinkles all over her face but you can't really see it. She's not as old as Walker but he is as old as time itself (approx). I normally see her along F line. She yells unintelligble things at people about Australia, all I've ever made out is AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI OI, but I suspect she has a racist agenda. Bigot. I bet her mouth is hecka gummy.

4. The Spirit of Christmas

I'm not sure if dude counts because I only saw him twice over December 07 period and have not seen him since. When Ed Hardy products were brought to Perf they had a big party in the city and Tara Reid came. That is a joke in itself, so I'll leave it. They had some DJs whipping up some 'fresh beats' outside Myer and there was this wasted Aboriginal man getting INSIDE the music and putting whiteys on the d floor to shame. That is pretty funny I guess but he was wearing a Santa hat! Hahaha! The next time I saw him was at Perth train station, he was mad tanked again and still wearing a Santa hat! Hahahaha. I think it might have been after Christmas too. Come back for the festive season '08, my special little guy.

Love Clare xoxo