SPF 50+

you will never guess what happened on the way here!
we had a stop over at brisvegas. upon arrival two security guards ushered me away too test me for explosives. so they lead me too their little room and im trying not too be nervous, i mean i DONT have any explosives so i have nothing too be worried about right?
anyway im trying too play it cool "oh, should i just sit down?" (points too lone chair) "NO, stay on the black square." so i did. then she patted me down (my first time) upon reaching my legs she exclaimed "well i KNOW you dont have anything in their LOL." becuase i was wearing tights with huge runs in the back. then her right hand man probed my bag with this stick thing and the one who patted me down was hell complementing me on my bag saying its the best one shes ever seen and stuff.
FYI: this is a brown leather satchell chris gave me before he moved too london, its so art bitch it hurts.

i think the drama is over but no it dosent end here.
when me and my unit (family unit) get too the customs bit where you show yr passport and what not they inform me that my passport, in very bad condition (its my only form of ID, hello amps) may not get me into my final destination. he proceeds too tell me that if they indeed choose too not accept me that i will be sent back too my place of origin (NZ)

anyway they let me in the country, so im here and its really really hot but its okay cause i smuggled my duty free bombay sapphire out by the pool and have a cigarette, a swim perhaps and ill hide under the bridge in the shady spot even though im wearing spf 50+ and this is amazing i cant wait too take heaps back too the land of aus because i wear sunblock everyday even when its raining. IM NOT THE ONLY ONE!!

more soon.
(NME)