a million reasons dinner partys rule

okay so i realise EVERYTHING i write ever starts with 'okay so' but yr just going too have too man the shit up and DEAL with it. i might also add im kind of still drunk and although im unwilling too be violent (im passive agressive you know) i might stand in the corner with my head down and insult you by exsisting. bam! take that!

to the point, my favourite writer ever in the history of the world, mia timpano AKA mia tampon wrote this article, about dinner partys, and how they suck. but i agree too disagree. i mean her article is the fire of my loins (i literally crymaxed while reading it) but i went too a dinner party and it ruled the universe so i guess its just like shes older and her friends/relatives are more sober and boring. they probably also have head lice or something serious like that so they cant see the "joy" in life and laugh at everything ever because theyre too busy being jerks, and itching alot.

anyway, WHY DINNER PARTYS RULE:

1. when yr not being paid for another week, a dinner party is a great way not too have too eat miegoreng, plus there will probably be booze provided by the host and this is a great way too escape the reality of being poor and realising yr life revolves around couches and watching movies and although it probably sounds indie and too cool for cool ITS NOT. its actually boring. and unglamorous, people may see you when yr not wearing pants as you are a complete and utter slob. so yeah, social interaction baby!

2. you may meet new people EG. people who have moustashes and are pretty too look at and say funny things when they open their mouth. like maybe theyre interested in finding the male g spot, is it really up yr but? in anycase they will be amusing.  even if theyre assholes you can take pictures of them when theyre not looking and deface them at home, cool.

3. eating good food is good. creamy penne is good. fetta salad is good. olives are bad, you must always remember this.

4. so you have free booze, so youll probably be drunk. being drunk is FUN! i have a big graze on my knee= mustve had a super rad night.

5. you may do//say things youve always wanted too do but never had the balls too do. this is probably becuase yr drunk but when you start talking too ppl you can say "im at a dinner party" and you sound really fancy and ppl will think everything you say is more important than it actually is because you lead such a jetsetting lifestyle. its like having a pen behind yr ear YR IMPORTANT.

6. i told my good friend that i want him too "rape me" but not in a bad way. WTF does this mean? i am a creep, but seriously revealing yr inner thoughts and feelings like how you want too sleep with yr friends is really touching, enlightening and the person on the recieving end may even be happy too hear this. they may also think yr a freakin idiot and want you too take a course in how too interact like a normal human, but in the end itll be a weight of yr shoulders.

the laptop is running out of batterys, well talk later

love,

(NME)

PS: i love clemma, bashton, betty, leighton and jack. YEAH!