long time reader, first time writer.
I am one of 3 ladies who occupy a bathroom in a quaint household.
Today I went to shower away my poor life decisions from the night before and after doing the walk of shame. Before I dropped trou I noticed my housemates panties were covering the toothpaste. And covering her undies was lady blood. And it wasn't fresh.
She hasn't come home yet and my mouth is pretty furry and i need to practice some dental health.
Whats a dardy to do?
do i leave exhibit a exposed or remove it? I would like to spare both me and the panties as much embarrassment as possible.
Help!
Yours truly,
Flowing In Florida
Dear Florida,
Firstly allow me to commend you on inventing a snappy pseudonym! Enough of that, down to business.
Go the Gemmer way I say and do a passive-aggressive turn aggressive-aggressive.
Right now there is no point in making a big commotion out of one rather gross yet comparatively small mistake made by your housemate. It would be totally awkward if you confronted her even if you were all "hey gf if you are going to leave evidence of your raging womanhood lying around can you at least make sure they aren't lying on something that goes in my mouth, 'kay? Thanks! xoxo!"
Let it go, buy some new toothpaste (even keep it in your room if you want to be rally passive-aggressive) and try to forget about it. You can go a night without brushing yur teeth, the English do it all the time. If you get real desperado I hear there is a great all night cafe on the corner of William and Walcott st where you can also pick up a burger and/or a cheese sausage.
Now here is the aggressive-aggressive part: if she EVER does anything wrong again blast it at her like "ONE TIME YOU LEFT YOUR BLOODY UNDIES ON THE TOOTHPASTE AND I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING YOU DISGUSTING FREAK, NEXT TIME BUY PADS WITH WINGS, YO!"
Or you can stockpile all the things she does wrong ever and when she really pisses you off present them to her (passive-aggressive).
and my final message you you ladies out there...
...If you make bff with your cycle then there won't be any embarrassing moments when you humiliate yourself by displaying to the world that no, you have not managed to fulfill EVERY woman's fantasy by harvesting a foetus. Better to be a lonely failure than a public one.
Thanks for writing,
Love Gemmer
xoxo
(want advice? write me at axe_da_cod@hotmail.com)
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