1. I have size double F (for foxy) breasts and I'm really pretty and everyone wants to have sex with me.
2. One time Jay-Z asked me out and I said no because I was busy.
3. I used to be an Olympic gymnast, whatever. I won five gold medals (floor, bars, beam, vault and cutest looking in her leotard) but I gave up my career when I turned 16. I can't do the splits anymore but I can put my leg over your shoulder.
4. I definitely did not just eat a plate of nachos and I am not about to have a second dinner. I actually have a macrobiotic diet and me and Gwenyth Paltrow talk about it all the time over Skype.
5. I volunteer at a retard shelter. That's how I met Gemma.
6. I have perfect pitch but I gave up my singing career. I was even better at singing than Mariah Carey but she FLIPPED THE FUCK OUT and had that breakdown thing over it so I let her have the charts. I'm more underground now, see me play at 208.
7. I have never ever in my life passed wind. One time I burped tho. Ewwww!!!
I nominate everyone who reads this to comment with their own seven things!!
Here are the rules...
Share seven facts about yourself in the post.
Link to your original tagger and list these rules in your post.
Tag seven people at the end of your post by leaving their names and the links to their blogs.
Let them know they’ve been tagged
5 comments:
1. I really do not like radiohead and if you do I will happily run you a warm bath as you slit your wrists. You cant keep listening to it when your dead. So die.
2. I have a torn clitoris from unsuitable wear and tear. It is in my poe located below edgar and allan.
3. I think venison is the best meat ever.
4. I dont believe in Palestine but i do believe in the Scherr family motto "Free is better than nice".
5. My dads really old uncle married his cousin when he was like 65 one day we had dinner with this couple in queens and my parents failed to tell us their relation to us. We found this out at a german restaraunt mid conversation and my brother and i had to go to the washroom and share a cubicle so passerbys would not hear our family shame we were heatedly discussing. We returned to the table and my crazy great aunty started yelling at me about hitler (in a germ rest and all) and tapaioca pudding. I told my ma and pa this bitch is cuckoo like a clock and she told me to shut it as it was on a 20hr flight.
6. The aforementioned crazy aunty died of mad cows disease as she WAS DIAGNOSED AS CRAZY. the last time i went to america was for uncle ira's new wedding to a 40 yr old latino broad at the best room in south florida it was a latino jew fiesta and the bride dragged her 80 yr old hubby into the reception to the sounds of pinks "get the party started".
7. I am ridiculously witty and the most remarkable person you will ever meet or be lucky to sit next to.
tokenjewgirl I just fell in love with you.
1. Someone once spread a rumour that my band doesn't play without acid.
2. I'll probably be a serial killer someday so if you are ever mean to me and I laugh it off I'm probably thinking about firebombing your car or slitting your puppy's throat.
3. I gave my ex-girlfriend headlice
4. My ex-girlfriend gave me thrush
5. I once tickled my aforementioned ex's dog so hard that it ate her sock that her mum had just brought back from Africa and proceeded to throw it up in the middle of the stairway.
6. I have the most ridiculous taste in women, there must be something wrong with you in order for me to be attracted to you.
7. Cousins aren't out of bounds.
I love that I can tell who tokenjewgirl and Tony Sparkle are just by their gross secrets. I am really trustworthy tho, donut worry I will not tell.
Well see I know who you are too. I could totally take a dump on your front lawn if I wanted to.
Post a Comment