Injuries.

For as long as I can remember, I have been fucking myself up wicked ways. There was the time I tried to hoist jump a fence because I was too lazy to walk the 20m around it at Fremantle Train Station after introducing James Morton to Passion Pop in the Hydey Car Park, and this happened.

That's a broken nose, and a whole bunch of facial contusions, thanks guys. The best part of that happening was when a kindly Aboriginal man took one look at me, and said I looked cold, conveniently neglecting to mention the blood all over my face/shirt. Thanks dude!

Then there was the 2 week period this year where I fell down a set of stairs that I walk up/down on average every 2 days, gave myself concussion by walking to the toilet in the middle of the night, getting my feet caught up in clothes, falling and hitting the corner of a concrete wall, and I got kicked off a bike at 3am near Amps.


This doesn't look that impressive, but that's because Spaks only took the photo of my face, instead of all over my hands and arms where I had been putting the blood. I asked some shit idiot for his beer outside Amps and he got angry at me when I used it to wash all m' O positive off me. Interesting sidenote, I got not ONE drop of blood on the peppermint green hoodie I was wearing at the time.

Then there was this. I was basically being a sick cunt, drinking Coops Red, standing up in a shopping trolley, when a Russian Lawyer kicked the trolley. You can guess what happened next.

That's right, I pretty much have 4 knees here. The Russian Lawyer felt really bad and he is in the Peace Corp now. Or the UN or something. I choose to believe that there is a direct correlation between that and him kicking me out of a Coles Trolley onto bricks. Interesting side note #2 - his high school girlfriend is this girl http://www.myspace.com/yaramusic

I think the injuries I have at the moment are probably the most severe - I'm used to the bruises, sprained ankles and bumps on my head that come with being an unco bitch, but like, Jesus, are you going to let up soon? I am currently nursing a pus fulled knee, a snapped off front tooth that was put back on with an "experimental" procedure that involved scraping most of the nerve out, sticking medicine on it and then jamming my tooth back on, 2 stitches in my mouth/lip that make me puff out like the niggerest nigger you have ever niggered and a broken calcaneus (ie heel bone, the worst thing to break apart from shattering your fucking knee.) Oh and I got a tetanus shot too on the weekend.

The rest of the year better be coming up Gracey. I am wishing to somehow get onto the confectionary track that Ben Menzies is on, for a super sweet, affordable, rad house in the next few weeks, and for basically urrthing cool to happen to me, ever.