2005 to 2008

I'm following in Gemmer's footsteps and posting blogs I did when I was 18 and 19. I was way more whimsical back then, now I am crusty and gross. I have been holding in my piss for like 2 hours because I can't be bothered taking off my onesie. I also urinated on a monastery like a day ago (sorry Jesus).

Monday, November 14, 2005
I'll not contain you


Thursday, December 01, 2005
Cool Things I Did Yesterday: Episode One
So I was putting a pocket back onto my dress which is something I'm not so great at. I'm pretty good at some things, like standing pidgeon-toed and drinking P-Max but I'm not that great at sewing. I SEWED MY THUMB TO MY DRESS. I accidentally put the needle through my thumb skin without realising and it was stuck to my dress. It was pretty gross.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Panties
Dear Underpants,

Plz stop riding up my butt.

Love Clare xoxo

Monday, April 10, 2006
My love is bigger than your love
MY ONE MAIN INTEREST IN LIFE IS YELLING.


Tuesday, May 16, 2006
My heart is made of gravy

Yeah, I can do a handstand and look really obscene at the same time. Those jammies fit over myfeet and I never have to wear socks, umm, I skip class a lot lately.

Friday, June 09, 2006
Pardon my birth, I just slipped out
Today in the shower I thought a strand of my wet hair was a spider's tentacle. Spiders don't even have tentacles. I just don't know about me anymore.

Monday, June 12, 2006
Take that Exercise 10C!
My dy/dx's turned into ponies and flying turtles.

I'm thinking of dropping out, you know, taking an art class or two.

And now it is more like:

Wednesday, April 09, 2008
I CAN’T DEEEAAALLLLL
Hey guys, I am everybody ever:

"My interests include coffee, cigarettes, red wine, polaroids, photography in general, reading (fav authors milan kundera, f scott fitzgerald, salinger etc), music (neko case, arcade fire, another gay band), my best friends, winter, art, drawing in my sketchbook, writing in really small font on the internet."

J/K!!!! But like I am going to do a shit on all of yr Polaroid cameras and the only good Belle and Sebastian song is the one that goes I DON’T LOVE ANYTHING because it’s about being a hater. I seriously wanna quit youth culture and marry an orang-utan or something. If I have to look at photographs of you and your friends smoking in dark alleyways one more time I think I will puke in your faces. Everybody should be more like me because I have no interests or hobbies except for looking at pictures of dogs on the internet.




Aw shit, I suck. Happy Australia EveryBoy and Girl!!
Love Clare xoxo