Situation Dire

Do any of you guys remember Situation Dire? No? Well that's because the majority of you are peons that don't notice the ends of your noses, and also because Situation Dire was SO HOT for such a short period of time that it basically white lighted the entirety of Perth and almost everyone ended up scratching their heads while looking at the sky, wondering what had happened.

Situation Dire was the brain child of the Gemma to my Clare, Leela and I. We wanted to be a DJ troupe. The fact that we had no idea how the fuck to DJ didn't put any dampener on our ambitions. We knew we had better musical taste than everyone else we saw, and all we wanted to do was make people dance, get some sick cunt groupies and generally be the envy of people below us, and the toast of people above us. (Impossible really, as we were the highest of high. In more ways than one.) This is Sit D's first press shot.

We were girls who liked to party, and we knew exactly what our debut gig should be. The support slot for the biggest party on December 30th, 2007, Vanilla Ice, from Ice Ice Baby fame. We already had a friend playing at the gig, we just needed to convince him that he needed to have something extra added to the set, ie. us. He was not having a bar of it at all, but we managed to convince him with these.

YEAH RIGHT GUYS! While at the time we were both single sassy willing lassies we weren't going to prostitute ourselves or use our admittedly amazing boobs to get to the top of the Perth DJ Scene. Instead we created a petition, and took it to Manor the night of the Manor Christmas Office Party and the response was overwhelming as you can see.


Josh caved and gave us the supporting slot with him. The cheers could be heard all over Perth when the news was let out of the bag, and now our next dilemma was what to wear. We had to be subtle, yet impressive and a stroll past Supre plus a vague memory of a t-shirt Stevie D once wore gave us an idea. Remember those Ice Sucks t-shirts? They had them on sale for 7.95. Unfortunately our idea got tossed out of the bag, and we were banned from wearing them as they might "upset the artist". It was at that point that we were kicking ourselves for not having made a Situation Dire mockumentary up until this point.

Anyway, here I am on stage on Vanilla Ice, looking absolutely beautiful.

And here are our adoring fans.

Vanilla Ice was our first and last gig. RIP Situation Dire. I'll never forget you. The heady smell of Metros dressing rooms, the love of the music, the dardis. Watch out for the reunion tour, coming up in the next few years.

I've made a Situation Dire mixtape, songs that we know and love and played that night, and other nights when we adhered to our gruelling rehearsal schedule. Here they are for you to enjoy.

1. Fine Young Cannibals - She Drives Me Crazy

2. Underworld - Underneath The Radar

3. Dire Straits - Money For Nothing

4. Tom Tom Club - Wordy Rappinghood

5. Montell Jordan - This Is How We Do It

6. Tom Tom Club - Genius Of Love

7. Coolio - 1, 2, 3, 4

8. Grace Jones - Pull Up To My Bumper

9. Falco - Der Kommisar

10. Boney M - Rasputin

11. Deniece Williams - Let's Hear It For The Boy

12. Hall and Oates - I Can't Go For That



http://favtape.com/sexykits/SituationDire



The one song it's really missing, that was Situation Dire ALL OVER is R Kelly - Hot and Fresh Out The Kitchen. Let's all take a minute to remember how good that song was by reading the lyrics.

(Intro)Now, um, usually I dont do this but uh....

Go head' on and break em off wit a lil' preview of the lil� remix....
Now I'm not tryin to be rude, but hey pretty girl im feelin you.
The way you do the things you do
remind me of my Lexus coup.
Thats why I'm all up in yo grill
tryina get you to a hotel.
You must be a football coach
the way you got me playin' the field.
So baby give that toot toot.
Let me give ya that beep beep.
Runnin her hands through my fro
bouncin on 24s.
Why they say on the radio...
It�s the remix to ignition.
Hot and fresh out the kitchen.
Momma rollin that body
got every man in here wishin.
Sippin' on coke and rum.
I'm like so what I'm drunk.
It's the freakin' weekend baby
Ima bout to have me some fun.
Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce.
Bounce, bounce, bounce (come on).
Now it's like murder she wrote.
Once I get ya out them clothes.
Privacy is on the doors
till they can hear ya screamin' more.
Girl i'm feelin whatcha feelin'.
No more hopin' and wishin'.
I'm bout to take my key an
stick it in the ignition.
So give me that toot toot.
Let me give ya that beep beep.
Runnin her hands through my fro
bouncin on 24s.
Why they say on the radio...
Its the remix to ignition.
Hot and fresh out the kitchen.
Momma rollin that body
got every man in here wishin'.
Sippin' on coke and rum.
I'm like so what I'm drunk.
It's the freakin' weekend baby
Ima bout to have me some fun.
Crystal poppin' in the strecth navagatior.
We got food everywhere as if the party was catered.
We got fellows to my left,honeys on my right.
You bring them both together we got drinkin all night .
Then after the show its the (after party).
Yea after the party its the (hotel lobby).'
yea round about 4 you gotta (clear the lobby).
Then taker her to your room and f*ck somebody.
So give me that toot toot.
Let me give ya that beep beep.
Runnin her hands through my fro
bouncin on 24s.
Why they say on the radio...
Its the remix to ignition.
Hot and fresh out the kitchen.
Momma rollin that body
got every man in here wishin'.
Sippin' on coke and rum.
I'm like so what I'm drunk.
It's the freakin' weekend baby
Ima bout to have me some fun.
Its the remix to ignition.
Hot and fresh out the kitchen.
Momma rollin that body
got every man in here wishin'.
Sippin' on coke and rum.
I'm like so what I'm drunk.
It's the freakin' weekend baby
Ima bout to have me some fun.
Girl we off in this jeep,
foggin' windows up,
blastin' the radioin the back of my truck.
Bouncin' up and down,
stroke it round and round,
to the remix,
we just thuggin' it out...