- I am totally caveman protective of my stuff
- When I run out of money I will guilt you into giving me some of our food. It’s kind of like when you have two goldfish or two cats and you set out the food for both of them but the more dominant one eats all the food and gets really fat while the other one stays really little and you think it’s pretty funny but it is actually kind of sad. And you always think that the dominant one is a fucking bitch but I axe you this; which one always dies first? Hey? Yeah bitch, the weak one (aka Clare)
- If I do something embarrassing or dumb I will lie on your floor chanting “I want to die” for approx. an hour even after you’ve told me to get the fuck out because it is like 1am.
- I will generally bitch about my crappy life non-stop but will not take on board any of your suggestions to better it.
- Clare indulged me with my inventive cussing but I’m pretty sure it pissed her off.
- I’ve lived in four share houses and I have been evicted from one. That’s a 25% chance I’ll get you evicted.
- I’ll leave knives IN THE GODDAMN SINK. Jk only crazy people care about that. Haha personal joke.
- I secretly love Chris Isaak (shhhhhhhhhhh)
- I love The View and I'm not ashamed to admit it.
- Eventually you’ll find that your friends are still coming over but it’s to see me because I am cooler than you
Lucky for the world I live alone now.
4 comments:
i think you're a dreamboat.
ps- can i have a badge
Which one takes your fancy? I will take it under consideration (since you haven't provided me with an anecdote).
It is seriously great to use a knife without it being a thing.
I know! I think that drove me more insane than the cracked out losers fogging up the living room 8 days a week.
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