5 years ago
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
POOR LIFE DECISIONS
BLINK 182 SLAM DANCING
BITCHES BE POOR, CANT AFFORD TO DRINK IN A POLITE ESTABLISHMENT, TAKIN TOO THE STREETS
(BATMAN & ROBIN)
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
Mini Bummers
- Realising how gay and twee you look in your floral onesie riding your pink Repco bicycle down Beaufort Street holding a pair of knitting needles and a glomesh purse you just bought from an old lady op shop near 10th Ave where you laughed so hard you couldn't breathe at (with?) the Italian Nonna in the shop who inquired as to whether "you wanta bigga bag as you driving da bicycle yes?"
- Going to Nina and Clare's house at 5:30pm on a Monday afternoon and them not being home so you borrow their bicycle pump cus your tire is a little flat and you can't work it for ages and have to sit on a step and smoke a (more like 3) cigarette in order to work it out, while wearing said floral onesie.
- Still haven't made this Meatcake yet -
- Realising no matter how hard you try to stretch you're still going to be only 1 and a half inches off the International Cutoff for being a midget
- Then realising that when you get older you actually shrink and knowing that if you are still friends with Jimmy Hats in 40 years you will never hear the end of it
- Your attempt at making ravioli fails so you just use the filling and lasagne sheets to make papardelle with smoked salmon, cream cheese, feta, spinach, capers, and cherry tomatoes and then eat the entire pot of said pasta (only takes you 2 goes by the way)
- The look on peoples faces when you tell them you have never seen any of the original Star Wars movies and then a friend not speaking to you for 2 weeks after you confess (Hi Richard!!)
- You have an iPhone for 2 days and then something fucks up and it's back to your Nokia that's old enough to be shit but not old enough to be cool like a pager (LOL HOW OBSOLETE) because God doesn't let you have nice things
Douglas Hall Norton Rose Australia
Quotes from this guy:
"HEY I MAKE $500 AN HOUR!"
"QUIT WITH THE LAWYER TALK, I'M A LAWYER I MAKE $500 AN HOUR!"
"HEY SINCE YOU GUYS RENTED MY HOUSE CAN YOU PAY FOR ME TO RE-LANDSCAPE MY GARDEN?"
"DID YOU KNOW I MAKE $500 AN HOUR!!? I'M A LAWYER"
Hey Douglas Hall, you still owe us $26.50 in court fees. I worked out that if you worked for 1 hour, you would still have $473.50 left after paying us for wasting our fucking time (think you make $500 an hour, but not sure).
DOUGLAS HALL
DOUGLAS HALL DOUGLAS HALL!!!
p.s. - I'm not a lawyer (i think you might be?? not sure) but maybe next time you go to court have cool things like "any scrap of evidence whatsoever" or "any legal document at all", and then you might win!!
"HEY I MAKE $500 AN HOUR!"
"QUIT WITH THE LAWYER TALK, I'M A LAWYER I MAKE $500 AN HOUR!"
"HEY SINCE YOU GUYS RENTED MY HOUSE CAN YOU PAY FOR ME TO RE-LANDSCAPE MY GARDEN?"
"DID YOU KNOW I MAKE $500 AN HOUR!!? I'M A LAWYER"
Hey Douglas Hall, you still owe us $26.50 in court fees. I worked out that if you worked for 1 hour, you would still have $473.50 left after paying us for wasting our fucking time (think you make $500 an hour, but not sure).
DOUGLAS HALL
DOUGLAS HALL DOUGLAS HALL!!!
p.s. - I'm not a lawyer (i think you might be?? not sure) but maybe next time you go to court have cool things like "any scrap of evidence whatsoever" or "any legal document at all", and then you might win!!
Can't Sleep, Too Excited
Tomorrow and Thursday my 12 year old sister will be sitting the NAPLAN. Basically
I have been waiting two years for this.
If you don't watch the news NAPLAN is a numeracy and literacy test sat by years 3, 5, 7 and 9 and the individual results are compared to all other tests state wide.
It used to be called the Wellners.
My sister did so poorly in year five that it has been an ongoing joke within my family for two years.
For example
I have been waiting two years for this.
If you don't watch the news NAPLAN is a numeracy and literacy test sat by years 3, 5, 7 and 9 and the individual results are compared to all other tests state wide.
It used to be called the Wellners.
My sister did so poorly in year five that it has been an ongoing joke within my family for two years.
For example
- When watching Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? she answers every question wrong and is met with "was that on the Wellners?". Note: according to 2008 NAPLAN she is only smarter than approximately 50% of WA's fifth graders
- My mum, brother and I waited for her at the end of her 100m sprint at the sports carnival and she is met with "was running on the Wellners?"
- When playing Junior Trivial Pursuit every time it is her turn to answer a question we pretend it is "what colour is a fire engine?" until she actually gets one that says "what colour is celery?" and she gets it wrong...
WAS THAT ON THE WELLNERS???
Sunday, May 9, 2010
THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT WHEN SOME STUDY TRYNA GET YOU DOWN
ive never been particularly gifted or smart when it comes too studying/school. except when i was much younger and my reading/spelling age was YEARS ahead of the rest, most probably because of my "photographic memory" and the fact that physically, i was so underdeveloped i probably sub consciously felt i had to make up for this fact by competing in the spelling bee or whatever.
in high school i firmly believed in the "cramming" technique, where by the night before exams i wrote out a key page of information over and over and over again until it stuck too my brain like paper too glue. it seemed to work pretty well except the other obstacle i had too overcome was my anal retentive - ocd like obsession with my handwritting which ment the first 20 minutes of exams were spent rewriting the title or my name because it "WASNT NEAT ENOUGH". also i get bored very easily, meaning the last 20 minutes of exams was usually spent writing "what i want for christmas" lists i was making too give too my parents. (i think its because one year they gave my sister and i swags, from then on we always doubted their ability to give presents)
the point is, im really great at procrastinating. and finding a way out of doing whatever im supposd to do, this generally happens with classes or subjects im "not that intoo" where as if i have a class that im like "fire of my loins" over im killing it with my dedication!!
im really great at finding ways too avoid doing shit that bores me. below are some techniques i use in my procrastination adventures...
1. attempting too cook food that i dont have all the ingredients too make. i always think "the recipe says too add one cup of sour cream but i dont own this ingredient. it cant taste that different right???" wrong. and you freakin know it. spend like half an hour making food that tastes like soggy butt loaf only too have too throw it away and eat migoreng.
2. cleaning. classic nina. the thing is noone notices yr procrastinating if yr doing something that benefits other ppl. so you decide too clean/mop/dust/bleach the kitchen/lounge/barfroom/dishes (gracey calls this a "henious clean" because ill usually throw out heaps of stuff too) this can go on for hours.. oh i need too clean my room too? oh the cuboards need to be rearranged? the cutlery draw is dirty? i should really reorganize my important documents?
3. making everyone you live with do whatever shitty thing its is to get away from the house and yr study commitments. usually this involves riding too a car park too do "siiiiicccckkk triiiccckkks" on our bikes. not really. but a girl can try. or riding too the bowls club late so you can drink goon and ride home and have one of thoose beautiful "im kind if drunk and sleepy" sleeps. the best.
4. reading. one weekend i red 2 novels in two days because i pretty much fore fitted sleeping. and socializing. sure, i had things too do, but laughing out loud and chainsmoking while reading about the perils of about henry chinawski while shivering under the tiny light of an outside lamp seemed WAY FUNNER than doing homework.
5. get an obsession. usually i will choose a tv show too get obsessed (eg. its always sunny) with because it can provide a distraction in many ways. first ofcourse the traditional watching of the tv show. but theres so many unexplored avenues! searching on youtube for interviews with the cast. google searching images of the most maz worthy cast member. watching any relevant films that have featured said actor. anything that inspired the show THE LIST IS ENDLESS.
6. taking long showers. one of my favourites. try too figure out everything youve got to do this week while yr showering and making yrself hygienically acceptable too the world. prolong yr time in the bathroom by brushing yr teeth twice, flossing then lying on the ground in yr towel while assuming the foetal position until you feel as dry as a bone.
7. get rowdy. sometimes while procrastinating i get so completely excited about getting my own way (ie. not having to do something i donut want too) i get hyper. actually running around the house jumping on my bed, loud music etc. so many happy moments . once my housemate actually on purposely burnt me with a cigarette while in one of my super moods, just too get me too stop moving/shut up/stop burning her.
HAPPY STUDYING!!!
in high school i firmly believed in the "cramming" technique, where by the night before exams i wrote out a key page of information over and over and over again until it stuck too my brain like paper too glue. it seemed to work pretty well except the other obstacle i had too overcome was my anal retentive - ocd like obsession with my handwritting which ment the first 20 minutes of exams were spent rewriting the title or my name because it "WASNT NEAT ENOUGH". also i get bored very easily, meaning the last 20 minutes of exams was usually spent writing "what i want for christmas" lists i was making too give too my parents. (i think its because one year they gave my sister and i swags, from then on we always doubted their ability to give presents)
the point is, im really great at procrastinating. and finding a way out of doing whatever im supposd to do, this generally happens with classes or subjects im "not that intoo" where as if i have a class that im like "fire of my loins" over im killing it with my dedication!!
im really great at finding ways too avoid doing shit that bores me. below are some techniques i use in my procrastination adventures...
1. attempting too cook food that i dont have all the ingredients too make. i always think "the recipe says too add one cup of sour cream but i dont own this ingredient. it cant taste that different right???" wrong. and you freakin know it. spend like half an hour making food that tastes like soggy butt loaf only too have too throw it away and eat migoreng.
2. cleaning. classic nina. the thing is noone notices yr procrastinating if yr doing something that benefits other ppl. so you decide too clean/mop/dust/bleach the kitchen/lounge/barfroom/dishes (gracey calls this a "henious clean" because ill usually throw out heaps of stuff too) this can go on for hours.. oh i need too clean my room too? oh the cuboards need to be rearranged? the cutlery draw is dirty? i should really reorganize my important documents?
3. making everyone you live with do whatever shitty thing its is to get away from the house and yr study commitments. usually this involves riding too a car park too do "siiiiicccckkk triiiccckkks" on our bikes. not really. but a girl can try. or riding too the bowls club late so you can drink goon and ride home and have one of thoose beautiful "im kind if drunk and sleepy" sleeps. the best.
4. reading. one weekend i red 2 novels in two days because i pretty much fore fitted sleeping. and socializing. sure, i had things too do, but laughing out loud and chainsmoking while reading about the perils of about henry chinawski while shivering under the tiny light of an outside lamp seemed WAY FUNNER than doing homework.
5. get an obsession. usually i will choose a tv show too get obsessed (eg. its always sunny) with because it can provide a distraction in many ways. first ofcourse the traditional watching of the tv show. but theres so many unexplored avenues! searching on youtube for interviews with the cast. google searching images of the most maz worthy cast member. watching any relevant films that have featured said actor. anything that inspired the show THE LIST IS ENDLESS.
6. taking long showers. one of my favourites. try too figure out everything youve got to do this week while yr showering and making yrself hygienically acceptable too the world. prolong yr time in the bathroom by brushing yr teeth twice, flossing then lying on the ground in yr towel while assuming the foetal position until you feel as dry as a bone.
7. get rowdy. sometimes while procrastinating i get so completely excited about getting my own way (ie. not having to do something i donut want too) i get hyper. actually running around the house jumping on my bed, loud music etc. so many happy moments . once my housemate actually on purposely burnt me with a cigarette while in one of my super moods, just too get me too stop moving/shut up/stop burning her.
HAPPY STUDYING!!!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
99c DREAMS, SLEEP PARALYSIS SOLD SEPERATELY
discovered more "picture blogs" taking up alot of time on the internet...
splitpeavintageblog.tumblr.com
cultivatemodesty.blogspot.com
AN ATLAS OF ANATOMY
i found the most amazing anatomy book at the library... and i kind of want too "loose it" ie. not give it back. the thing is, thats kind of wrong and unethical BUT i still think that im the right person too "lose it" aka take over ownership of the object because i will look after it and I REALLY LIKE IT. its sad that other people wont be able too enjoy it anymore... but not sad enough too stop me. this is a one off!! SINNERS ARE WINNERS.
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