Monday, December 28, 2009

Highlights

Yo Annik Skelton, wanna buy my family off me? I'll trade.

Highlights of Christmas Day included;

  • My sisters boyfriend's facial tattoos
  • Same sister informing my family over Christmas lunch that she has "heard Gracey is living with a drug addict"
  • Facial tattoo man coming into the living room attempting to be jolly and asking me many many questions about the book I was reading. "Good book eh? Must be a good one. You're still reading it! HA!"
  • Stepsisters discussing "hitting the pipe" in front of entire family and no-one batting an eyelid "At least what I'll be doing after lunch will keep me thin!"
  • Everyone else got delightful food hamper presents while I received a hamper of the alcoholic variety (That bit was pretty good actually)

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas to all!!!



Sorry little sister, that reverse headgear ain't reversing the "awkward tween" phase you appear to be trapped in.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Dardy Manor

This is my new house.

Kat, Nina, Tash and Emiry live downstairs like suckas whilst I lord over them from the attic room. Those are real rubies in my crown too. Me and Nina share a bathroom (bathroom buddies HI 5) and it is always stocked with TP. Emily and Tash have their own bathroom which sucks and they ask to borrow TP from the bathroom kings (Us).

Living in a mansion is pretty hard but someone has to do it I guess. We're having an XXXmas/Ludachristmas again DONT COME!!

Losing My Shit

Around when I first started blogging, I wrote a post about how sometimes Huey's Cooking Adventures made me cry, because I couldn't deal if Huey didn't have any friends IRL. This was an attempt to showcase my sensitive side, which exists.

Not many people I know have seen me cry, because I don't really cry over anything that isn't on TV. The one thing I am guaranteed to lose my shit over is youtube videos about animals either a) dying or b) being reunited with their human friends. The section of youtube that is all "recommended for you" is filled with shit like "Hurricane Katrina Animal Rescue" and "Dog saves man with Diabetes". Way to rub it in youtube!!

Anyway, whilst everyone else is trawling the internet for young asians getting poop shoved in their face whilst getting fucked by a dildo machine (or similar) I have waded through the underbelly of the internet to bring you animal videos that can make me cry in under 30 seconds. I've even watched multiple versions of the same video and selected the ones with the most appropriate theme songs (FYI you can never go wrong with Whitney Houston). Also, if anyone can find me a tape (or TiVo? is that a thing?) of Unlikely Animal Friends, which was on channel 7 last week, please let me know.

Firstly, the classic, the ultimate, Christian the lion:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btuxO-C2IzE

WAHHHHHH!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5OEKA47xFI
(one dog gets hit by a car and no one cares except for his BFF dog friend who tries to rescue him!)

Can't wait for this to come out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaS37E3gKOU

I want to see the orginal!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3s11acb7Z8

She's so happy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysKAVyXi0J4

Lala likes shopping!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDN3L621ASI

I want to say I laughed at this video (see comic sans, grammar, early Britney) but I didn't.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63cgg73qFMA

THE END. LOVE CLARE.

BUY ME THE INTERNET



I need the internet.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Business Venture

Jimmy Hats from http://toetagsandbodybags.blogspot.com has said a bunch of different shit to me over the course of the 6 years or so that I have known him.
"I like you."
"Shut up you fucking mole."
"To be honest, I thought I would be passed out before you got home."
"And then she was all like, 'Let's Get Nandos' every time after we fucked. It was rank."
etc etc etc etc.
One thing I never expected to hear from him though was ..
"Can I do your makeup?"

Admittedly he was high as shit at the time and I think he had just ran out of canvas' and wanted to paint something. Here is his handywork.

Pretty!


Myspacey!

Obligatory junkie shot!

Anyone that knows me knows that I don't really do makeup, apart from smearing lipstick over and around my mouth when I remember and leaving the imprint on clothes/cups/boys/girls/the ground most times, so the job he did with a half broken eyeliner, a tube of clogged up mascara and some $2 purpley/pinkey eyeshadows is admirable really. We are starting a business venture. Any girls that want a dardy Eurazn artist to come over and paint their face email me on grace_dewhurst@hotmail.com and we will get back to you.