The FBI Top 10 Most Wanted Terrorists in Order of Sexual Attractiveness

10. Ayman al-Zawahiri



The founder of the Egyptian Islamic Jihad (EIJ) is just not doing it for me. Extra points for being a doctor and kind of looking like David Cross in this picture:



9. Jamal Ahmed Mohammad Ali Al-Badawi



Ewwww look how oily his skin is, I don't think he would smell good. Bonus points for escaping custody twice, that's badass.

8. Fahd Mohammed Ahmed Al-Quso



Kinda hot but what's with that beard?? It reminds me of hippies and hippies are gross; no deal buddy. Extra points for managing to evade capture for 11 years with a prosthetic leg.

7. Osama bin Laden



He's a total babe, look at those gentle eyes! But let's face it, he's not getting any hotter at the bottom of the ocean. I need a dead boyfriend like I need a hole in the head (see what I did there?).

6. Hassan Azz-Al-Din



You can't properly tell what he looks like from this picture but I'm getting a vibe off him and it's vaguely sexual.

5. Mohammed Ali Hammadi


Look at those full lips and those EYEBROWS! Bonus points for looking like Borat when he was younger.



4. Ali Atwa



Again you can't really tell what he looks like from this photo but he kind of looks like an indie nerd; imagine him sitting outside Amps, wearing rolled up jeans and a pair of vans...smoking a cig. I.JUST.CAME.

3. Abdullah Ahmed Abdullah



Bit of a weird hairline but MY DEAR LORD look at that mo. Bonus points for being a former professional soccer player in Egypt, I enjoy a man with strong legs.

2. Daniel Andreas San Diego



I gave this guy the number two position before realised that he is a straight edge vegan (gross) so lets just focus on that angular face and big nose. Bonus points for bombing a company for killing puppies. I love puppies.

1. Adam Yahiye Gadahn




Those rosy cheeks, big eyes, thick hair and Californian tan make me want to rip his clothes off AND MAKE HIS LIFE HELL. A million bonus points for being in a one man death metal band called Aphasia in 1993. He doesn't look too hot in what I assume is the picture he uses on World of Warcraft message boards



But whatever, still number one.