SOMETHING

heres some stuff i was working on over this semester. i should really stop being lazy and actually scan drawings instead of taking pictures where you can see my shadow/out of focus/see pen marks.. but that would require effort and currently all of my effort is going towards doing homework and restraining myself from having more than 1 shower a day.

Mi Frend Igur

I met Igor when I was 18 (6 years ago) but we have only been proper friends for two years because before that he was fat and had a bob, now we work together. When he was a child he escaped his third world homeland of Bosnia and jumped into Australia's multicultural melting pot.

When I got into work today I was in the shittiest mood, having had only three hours sleep after studying for 20 hours straight. However, all these bad feeling melted away when Igor presented me with an exercise book filled with his 12 year-old attempts at learning English as a second language.

This is his journey...



Whatever you do, don't swallow the fucking chocolate



This kind of reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Lisa organises Moe's retarded scrawling into poetry and he becomes a literary sensation.



Ah yes the short-lived distribution of Herbal Essences Shampoon collection, 1996 was a different time.

Also "I comb my hair with a comr"?? You've got to be shitting me, the answer was RIGHT THERE.



Great effort indeed, F fucking minus Igor.



In Bosnia local caretaker is horse.

Igor has sadly made little progress since 1996. At least he knows how to milk a yak and make a mean rock soup.

Indie Boobs

Gemmer's Playlist for Driving a One-Night-Stand Home

I love you; I honestly love you- Olivia Newton-John



Sing along for the first verse then stop for the chorus, look at them with big wet eyes and say in a whisper “I’m so glad I met you…”


Versatile- Pansy Division



(I couldn't find Versatile on youtube so Homo Christmas will have to do)

This is a queercore song about guys who can be both tops AND bottoms, so obviously talk shamelessly about when the portion of the night where he tried to have anal sex with you.

It must be love- Ricky Lee Jones



(I'm writing this blog at uni without headphones so this might not be the right song)

Look out the window poignantly during this song so much so that you almost have an accident (your one night stand should feel the need to grab the wheel)

Mad World- Gary Jules



“Isn’t it just?” then I dunno, go into a detailed misinterpretation of the movie Donnie Darko.

One More Hour- Sleater Kinney



“So how many other girls are you doing this with? Oh (hahahahah) don’t worry I’ll look at Facebook”

Anything by- Sufjan Stevens



Talk about god and how much you hate abortions and all forms of birth control

Fifteen- Taylor swift



“This song is about losing your v card, when did you lose yours? I most mine to uncle Lesley, don’t worry, he’s not really my uncle”

Call It Off- Tegan and Sara



This should be playing as he leaves the car, yell out “don’t call me”

PINK FLAMINGOS

john waters, a-maz-ing.

JESUS DOSNT WANT ME FOR A SUNBEAM

i constantly have to wash my bedding because....

A. I GET FOOD STAINS ON IT ALOT. the luxury of eating in bed and the risks involved. most of the food i eat in bed is $2.40 footsgay rolls. they mostly just contribute crusty bread. ice cream and salads are the worst but usually not at the same time.

Weekend at Binnie's

Q. What would you do if you were swimming at the beach and Osama bin Laden's body floated by?

A. You would Weekend at Bernie's that shit, obviously