SOMETHING

heres some stuff i was working on over this semester. i should really stop being lazy and actually scan drawings instead of taking pictures where you can see my shadow/out of focus/see pen marks.. but that would require effort and currently all of my effort is going towards doing homework and restraining myself from having more than 1 shower a day.

Mi Frend Igur

I met Igor when I was 18 (6 years ago) but we have only been proper friends for two years because before that he was fat and had a bob, now we work together. When he was a child he escaped his third world homeland of Bosnia and jumped into Australia's multicultural melting pot.

When I got into work today I was in the shittiest mood, having had only three hours sleep after studying for 20 hours straight. However, all these bad feeling melted away when Igor presented me with an exercise book filled with his 12 year-old attempts at learning English as a second language.

This is his journey...



Whatever you do, don't swallow the fucking chocolate



This kind of reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Lisa organises Moe's retarded scrawling into poetry and he becomes a literary sensation.



Ah yes the short-lived distribution of Herbal Essences Shampoon collection, 1996 was a different time.

Also "I comb my hair with a comr"?? You've got to be shitting me, the answer was RIGHT THERE.



Great effort indeed, F fucking minus Igor.



In Bosnia local caretaker is horse.

Igor has sadly made little progress since 1996. At least he knows how to milk a yak and make a mean rock soup.

Indie Boobs

Gemmer's Playlist for Driving a One-Night-Stand Home

I love you; I honestly love you- Olivia Newton-John



Sing along for the first verse then stop for the chorus, look at them with big wet eyes and say in a whisper “I’m so glad I met you…”


Versatile- Pansy Division



(I couldn't find Versatile on youtube so Homo Christmas will have to do)

This is a queercore song about guys who can be both tops AND bottoms, so obviously talk shamelessly about when the portion of the night where he tried to have anal sex with you.

It must be love- Ricky Lee Jones



(I'm writing this blog at uni without headphones so this might not be the right song)

Look out the window poignantly during this song so much so that you almost have an accident (your one night stand should feel the need to grab the wheel)

Mad World- Gary Jules



“Isn’t it just?” then I dunno, go into a detailed misinterpretation of the movie Donnie Darko.

One More Hour- Sleater Kinney



“So how many other girls are you doing this with? Oh (hahahahah) don’t worry I’ll look at Facebook”

Anything by- Sufjan Stevens



Talk about god and how much you hate abortions and all forms of birth control

Fifteen- Taylor swift



“This song is about losing your v card, when did you lose yours? I most mine to uncle Lesley, don’t worry, he’s not really my uncle”

Call It Off- Tegan and Sara



This should be playing as he leaves the car, yell out “don’t call me”

PINK FLAMINGOS

john waters, a-maz-ing.

JESUS DOSNT WANT ME FOR A SUNBEAM

i constantly have to wash my bedding because....

A. I GET FOOD STAINS ON IT ALOT. the luxury of eating in bed and the risks involved. most of the food i eat in bed is $2.40 footsgay rolls. they mostly just contribute crusty bread. ice cream and salads are the worst but usually not at the same time.

Weekend at Binnie's

Q. What would you do if you were swimming at the beach and Osama bin Laden's body floated by?

A. You would Weekend at Bernie's that shit, obviously

The FBI Top 10 Most Wanted Terrorists in Order of Sexual Attractiveness

10. Ayman al-Zawahiri



The founder of the Egyptian Islamic Jihad (EIJ) is just not doing it for me. Extra points for being a doctor and kind of looking like David Cross in this picture:



9. Jamal Ahmed Mohammad Ali Al-Badawi



Ewwww look how oily his skin is, I don't think he would smell good. Bonus points for escaping custody twice, that's badass.

8. Fahd Mohammed Ahmed Al-Quso



Kinda hot but what's with that beard?? It reminds me of hippies and hippies are gross; no deal buddy. Extra points for managing to evade capture for 11 years with a prosthetic leg.

7. Osama bin Laden



He's a total babe, look at those gentle eyes! But let's face it, he's not getting any hotter at the bottom of the ocean. I need a dead boyfriend like I need a hole in the head (see what I did there?).

6. Hassan Azz-Al-Din



You can't properly tell what he looks like from this picture but I'm getting a vibe off him and it's vaguely sexual.

5. Mohammed Ali Hammadi


Look at those full lips and those EYEBROWS! Bonus points for looking like Borat when he was younger.



4. Ali Atwa



Again you can't really tell what he looks like from this photo but he kind of looks like an indie nerd; imagine him sitting outside Amps, wearing rolled up jeans and a pair of vans...smoking a cig. I.JUST.CAME.

3. Abdullah Ahmed Abdullah



Bit of a weird hairline but MY DEAR LORD look at that mo. Bonus points for being a former professional soccer player in Egypt, I enjoy a man with strong legs.

2. Daniel Andreas San Diego



I gave this guy the number two position before realised that he is a straight edge vegan (gross) so lets just focus on that angular face and big nose. Bonus points for bombing a company for killing puppies. I love puppies.

1. Adam Yahiye Gadahn




Those rosy cheeks, big eyes, thick hair and Californian tan make me want to rip his clothes off AND MAKE HIS LIFE HELL. A million bonus points for being in a one man death metal band called Aphasia in 1993. He doesn't look too hot in what I assume is the picture he uses on World of Warcraft message boards



But whatever, still number one.