Saturday, March 13, 2010

ITS ALWAYS SUNNY

WAYS THAT ITS ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA CHANGED MY LIFE
a short novella compiled by (NME)

#1. YELLING, charlie is always yelling, muttering, screaming. the short of it is, its beautiful and a necessary outlet for expressing yourself, as an artist i really respect that kind of self-expression. i live in a BIG house. so big its been coined "WOOMANSION" cause 5 sexy ladys live there and its sexy and big like a mansion. theres alot of breast fondling and but slapping and im not actually joking. if we had cameras we could make alotta money. anyway, like i said the house is of a large sized persuasion so i now feel comfortable yelling my way through the house. i yell at clare upstairs, i yell at ppl sitting on the toilet. i yell the shit out of it!

#2. DIRTY PRANKS, in the episode "the gang goes jihad" charlie throws a pooey paper bag flaming missile intoo a construction site cause the dudes their are starting beef and trying too take half the bar. in laymans terms theyre fucking jerks. as a collective the woomansion began thinking about ppl who were straight up shit bitches. im not talking about yr ex boyfriend or that girl from highschool, blah blah reflective story im talking DOWNTOWN jerks. we thought of our racist, classist, pig faced ex-neighbour who once called the realestate agency on us for not putting our bin out. as a collective we dressed in black, like the night, we drew maps and pumped up the tyres on our fierce bicycles, we roped in kats friend and explained the game plan. we collected some illegeal weapons (eggs) and we raped their car with chicken mensturation. we also added some flour just so the bmw would be that slight bit harder too clean. we clinked glasses of tang, we cheered and we were sweaty. it was a magical moment. revenge is a dish best served with a side of tang.

#3. JUST AN AWKWARD MEETING BETWEEN FRIENDS AT THE WELFARE STORE, its true, like dee says you get on the welfare too help make yr pipe dreams realitys. all of woomansion are members of the welfare store. we all study as well, but it would probably sound a bit more glamorous if i lefty that bit out.

#4. BIZ MARKIE REVIVAL, also in the welfare episode dee and dennis are choc chillin hardcore on a step stoop, drinking longnecks from brown paper bags and having ghetto rolls in their jeans and singing along too " just a friend". so much passion in this song. very moving. a constant youtube tune for myself.

#5. IMPORTANT LOOKING OUTFITS, whenever mac "dresses up" he wears his polo shirt, with a tie. haha. when i had too go too court cause some losers wouldnt give us our bond money back i tried channeling macs vibe. i, of course ended up looking like a conservative mormon in my court outfit and there was not a polo shirt or tie in sight, but my spirit was definetly wearing macs superior clothing choice. ps. we won the court case.

#6. MY FAVOURITE LINES, they bring me so much pleasure and many hearty lols. like "im gurner eat yr babies" or "im gurner stab him... im gurner stab his face off" just thinking about it makes me need too urinate, in a nice way.

#7. CHARLIE, CHARLIE, CHALIE, i have the biggest boner for charlie. not only is he a hairy manly attractive specimen he is amazingly charismatic and humorous. what a dreamboat, slight attraction too danger and violence, makes great sandwiches, a generous helping of the crazies and such devotion too his chosen woman. cuuute!

theres more, i will continue too add but i must be off too eat food. its always sunny in philadelphia is the best tv show ever!




4 comments:

Jimmy Hats said...

IM SO IMPRESSED YOU KNEW WHO SUNG THAT SONG IN THE IM ON THE DOLE I SEE TOO MANY REFLECTIONS CRACKHEAD EPISODE.

I HAVE EVERY EPISODE ON DVD, I LIVE.

Honestly, how good is it that Charlie is actually married to the waitress and Mac is actually married to Sweet Dee.
In real life.

P.S
Mac is opening a bar in Philly.
It's called something like Ye Olde Taverne or something. Imagine getting a beer poured for you, by him.

Jimmy Hats said...

CHARLIE WORKING IN THE MAILROOM.
HAVE A CIGARETTE, IT WILL CALM YOU DOWN.

NME said...

i know the waitress is way cute! its funny but i dont really see any chemistry between sweet dee and mac. i think its because shes so tall. yep thats it definetly her height. i cant imagine them gettin g freaky or anything. i can see charlie smashing the waitress's box real hard. haha.

our future plans should be too bike around america, bike too that tavern. along the way we could document our travel antics via blog. we would be secretr underground internet celebs.
we would have permenant souvineres, homemade tattoos in each state. OMG IT SOUNDS POETIC

Jimmy Hats said...

Just commit a treasure map homemade.
I live for when the waitress relapses into being an alcoholic because Dee wants to be a Seks in Da Shitty bitch.

She looks so hot.