The Fuck the Scotsman Alliance met for the first time last night and we had a pretty successful meeting, except for at the end when Gracey went to the Scotsman. We moved our drinking to the Queens, and though a further walk from my house, was a much more pleasant experience. Nina got a birthday sundae on the sly, with a candle in it (never would have happened at the Scotsman), that I mostly ate because she was taking too long, the beer was flowing like wine and everyone smoked heaps of cigarettes, because they could. I, a non-smoker, revelled in the second hand smoke because it tasted like freedom. There were two girls behind us who ate like 1/16th of these fucking amazing looking meals, and I was fully prepared to eat off their plates wheh they left but then I forgot to keep an eye on them.
By the end of it, Nina and I stumbled home singing songs from really underground bands you would never have heard of and our neighbours yelled at us for talking too loudly at midnight. TALKING?? Derrrrrr. I would really like it if some young stud could come and service these undersexed Mt Lawley housewives because they don't have much to do apart from yell at us for forgetting to put our bin out ONCE, and parking too close to the footpath (but not over it). Actual quote from our neighbours: DEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Love Clare xoxo
1 day ago