Monday, May 4, 2009

Break it down now

I have been reading The West Australian pretty much every day to keep up on news for class. I have also been reading The Sunday Times which has been killing me a little more than The West.

Since I have to read it and so you don't have to here is a run down of today's paper.

Rob Broadfield: still a wank. Insider cover has always been ridiculous. Remember someone got busted for plagiarising its content? Or making it up? I can't remember. I can honestly say that I don't care about Patti Chong or that someone has 'spotted' a politician smoking. And if you care about such things you need more excitement in your life.

I also don't care if a priest goes for the dockers and claims that "It's clear from the response which team God barracks for". Ummmm I think if there is a God she cares about football even less than I do. I'm pretty sure she has more important things to worry about, like daylight savings.

What was quite funny was that someone did some graffiti on that stupid clothes store ELLE saying "stop using Banksy to sell (something)". I'm not sure if it is lame or cool to like Banksy. From what I know about him (I did an assignment on him/culture jamming a couple years ago) it is a bit like Che and the shirts/wallets/bags etc that most likely have him rolling in his grave. An expensive clothing boutique using Banksy to sell their shit (which is probably made by children getting paid $1 a week in China) would in all likelihood piss him off. But who knows, he probably has bigger things to think about, like daylight savings.

Today's news in dot point

  • kids are dumb
  • people actually think daylight savings is a big deal
  • the economy is fucked
  • the environment is fucked
  • picture of the environment minister prompts the age old question involving carpets and drapes
  • Tim Tams are a baby food?
  • old people like caravans
  • 1.5 million Australians really had nothing better to do than watch the Logies. Myself included
  • The price of adding bacon added to your favorite McDonald's burger will go up, I will cry
  • People in Australia play sport competitively

And my personal fave from today: a big page six feature on youths in the city at night by Gabrielle Knowles and Dawn Gibson.

Highlights include,

  • A picture of a 20 year old girl standing near my old apartment not wearing shoes. It claims that she is a hooker to support a heroin addiction and that she has been doing the whole loitering-in-the-city-at-night-bogan thing for years. she is quoted as saying "it (the curfew) is a good theory but it doesn't really work because they just take you home to the people with whom you have the problem". come on Gabrielle Knowles, I don't believe a 20 year old street hooker with a heroin addiction would be that articulate. Maybe a brothel hooker or a high class hooker but no street hooker has ever said "whom".

  • "About 2am, just around the corner outside the 24-hour McDonald's on William street, A 14-year-old boy was wolfing down a quarter-pounder and smoking a cigarette between bites. He told a few friends that he was "drunk and pinging", meaning that he was high on ecstasy". Wolfing? I wonder who they asked for a translation of "pinging", do you think they googled it? and it must have been some shit Ecstasy if he was hungry enough to eat a burger.

That's your news Perth, enjoy.

2 comments:

Andrei B said...

Dude, if this shit bores you as a reader it's gunna bore you even more when you start heading out to collect that stuff.

"So when did you decide to make WA's biggest quilt?"
-slashwristslashwristslashwrists-

menR2emotional said...

I never leave comments. EVER. no time...honours student...(assignment about Banksy).I had to go through this huge process just to leave a message...(never tried you see) Had to tell you tho...you are so awesome. I love this! I think the 'news' is hilarious too! Please keep writing your er...quilt?
It's beautiful