case study no# 1 NO I DONUT THINK YR FUNNY AND NO I DONT WANNA DATE YOU ETC. YOU MAKE ME SICK.
lets see upon greeting you i explain that there are currently no tables available and you may have too wait too enjoy yr gourmet food etc. come on, its only FOOD if yr really that hungry go eat some low carb trail mix available at yr convienece!! (NOT) what about that table! you exclaim pointing in the direction of the childrens table. "NO" i reply politely while you and yr gaggle of 'buds' punch each other in the balls and laugh hystericly. so you decide too order takeaway.. mispronouncing everything from the name of the establishment down too the morsell of meat yr about too consume.
i ask you for a name for the order you give me a shit eating grin, say something common and annoying like "dave" funny how yr crappy name sums you up hey? (sorry any cool daves we may meet in future) want my number too? you ask. i say nothing. seriously, if i wanted too get all "down town" with you i probably would have avoided this awkward moment IE. BEAT IT.
case study no#2 SIT THE FUNK DOWN! SHUT THE FUNK UP!
yr loiterring in the doorway kind of looking like you have a giant diarrhoea storm welling up inside of you and yr all dumbfounded and kind of donut know what too do. i ask if you would like directions too the bathroom you explain you are "just looking" and i advise you that if you would like a table i may direct you too one. you, unwillingly, follow me. when we arrive at the table i pass you a menu and let you know too order at the end of the counter when you are ready. you are still not sitting down. i explain too you that if you would like too dine in it would be a good thing too sit down seeing as ppl are swooping in constantly and jerking the outgoings out of their barely left seats. you put yr stupid face real close too mine and i can see yr bulbus, middle aged, red, sweaty nose shining so brightly in front of me i almost feel like stabbing you with a closeby ladel so as too regain a clear path of vision.
you start throwing a fit "ive never been here before I DONT KNOW WHAT TOO DO, WHAT DO I ORDER?!" before slumping intoo the chair.
i proceed too read the whole freaking menu aloud, suggest something for you too order etc. etc.
i just really dont know where too begin on what about you pissed me off. you were like the worst enemy i had never met. the long lost nemesi. the insanity too my sanity. dear god.
SO, if you see me out, im sitting there with the angry face on and you ask me why i look so morose and i reply i hate you...
its sincerly not you. and its not me either. ITS EVERYONE ELSE.
and if i have pissed you off, dear reader with my spelling errors and manic punctuation..
just choc chill. or choc supershake. whatever.