BULLSHIT

Do you remember that scene in How To Lose a Guy In Ten Days where Kate Hudson is all I DON'T LOVE YOU and Matthew McSnoganey says BULLSHIT because they were playing that card game earlier? I obviously don't, because I have never seen that movie and Gemma doesn't own it on VHS. You guys are all gay though and probably bought it on Blu-Ray (p.s. - what is blu-ray? what is HD tv? what is 'plasma' screen?)



Anyway, I call 'boolshit' on fashion blogs. Ew. Some people take pictures of what they wear everyday and put it on the internet and hundreds of people look at the hot pix and talk about what hot pix they are. They say things like "I like that piece" to talk about a shirt or something and their favourite word is 'fierce'. Tigers and other great cats are fierce, not a pair of shoes. Elliot Stapler from Law and Order is fierce too (he is also my boyfriend but me and him are keeping that shooshsies). You can have a piece of pie but you cannot have a piece of a t-shirt. OK.

These bloggers fall in two categories: you either wear all black and white outfits with killer high heels (example) or dress like a retarded little lolita bitch (example). I think sometimes companies send those fillies clothes for free because so many people wanna look at 15 pictures of them being whimsical at sunset and hear stories like "Josef and I found the cutest cafe to drink tea and read e.e. cummings poems downtown!! Afterwards the drive along the coastline was divine, we made hot cocoa when we got home and I sorted through my Polaroids from last summer." Oh my god, why do so many people care about your gay little twee lives and your shredded jeans. Why does nobody wanna send me free clothes for being a whiny little asshole on the internet? I'm a bloganality! One time someone at a party was like "you are from the Chronicles of Dardia" and I was all "Yeah wanna make something of it?" because I was intoxicated. Sorry guy.

I guess street style blogs where someone takes pix of hotties on the street and not themselves are less shitty because the vanity/self obsession factor is at zero degrees but the "I care about what dickheads at the Bakery are wearing and I think other people will too" factor is totally raging high. That's ok, I guess I probably am secretly interested too (p.s. - not really), and it's not totally gross and pretentious. I think a lot of people are interested in clothes, a billion dollar fashion industry seems to suggest so.

In related news, I'm gonna start doing a weekly fashion segment on the C.O.D. called "Gutter Bitch", where I document what I wear to pick up Nandos every time I'm hungover. Look out for no shoes, not showering and no bras and this never actually happening. Love Clare xoxo