Monday, June 8, 2009

An Andrew Murray Style Blog

entitled... House Hideous

Basically talking about houses but instead of being positive and upbeat like AM I'm going to rag on a couple of ugly houses.

This is an incredibly ugly expensive mansion situated in Crawley/Dalkeith that was probably built in the last 10 years. Notice how big and ugly it is? Do you think maybe the owners are standing behind that tinted glass looking at me saying "look, that girl is admiring our lovely house, thank goodness we dropped millions on building it"

Actually I don't know how Andrew does this taking photos of houses thing all the time, I feel like such a complete terrorist/burglar. Am dressed all in black with large camera and a bit jittery from not sleeping. I think they are more likely to mistake me for Michael Cera than a terrorist. You know in that awful movie where they namedrop a bunch of indie bands? not Juno, the other one. I mean, shit if I wanted to waste two hours of my life listening to people that are cooler than me drop the names of obscure bands, I'd go hang out with Perth's hipster royalty.

Now this one isn't totally awful, it's pretty vile but but its true ugliness (like me) lies on the inside.

Wait! It gets worse!

I just threw up a little bit! And the house has just been sold! Who would buy this tasteless piece of trash? I've seen more style in my poo! Boooo!

Now this is a pretty house

It is Gallop House and is heritage listed for reasons that I could look up and tell you but won't. It is open to the public on Sundays and public holidays yet I haven't been because it seems like an entirely sad and pathetic thing to do on a Sunday all by myself, and I know that if I axe my friends to come they will make fun of me for wanting to spend a Sunday on such a gay/married person outing. And anyway, all my Sundays appear to booked up solid with barfing up blood.


perthsbest said...

A+ gemmor.
Best blog yet.
that first house is AMAZING

Jane Donut said...

Amazing like gross, right?

And yes to Gallop House on Suunday BTW!

Queefer Sutherland said...

I would go to Gallop house you faggot bitch. Also in one sentence, you could tell you stayed up all night reading The Edge of Reason!! Let's go b'riding on Jutland Parade soon with cameras.

Jane Donut said...

Oh you gave it away!!! You're mum is right, you ARE a little bitch.