Me and Gemma are generally pretty straight laced gals. You probably think this is about lesbianism. We used to live in a cute house called Caddyshack, and one night we were corrupted by our deviant male housemate. He gave us an illicit vegetable ‘soup’ (basically just orange juice) and FORCED us to drink it (p.s. – we’re lying, p.p.s – future employers, actually he held us at gunpoint). This was pretty dumb idea because it was about midnight and I had work at 9 am the next day.
Afterwards we were all just sitting around talking and everybody seemed pretty normal, except then we realised that everyone else’s conversations were RETARDED like about who would they love more: their cat or a robot version of their own cat. Then I felt the couch near me and Gemma and it was so wet, and Gemma looked really scared and said “I think I peed myself”. We sat there for like 10 minutes thinking about how wet things were until we stood up and realised that the couch and Gemma’s pants were bone dry. Kooky!!
There were some rolled up blankets in the corner that I thought were campers so I turned to Gemma and said “somebody better wake those campers”. She just shook her head and said “no, those are the ghosts of all the children who have died doing Cirque De Soleil”. They were all doing little dances in the corner of her eye to that circus tune (doot doot dootle loodle doot doot doot doot etc).
So obviously me and Gemma are really deep and wise and serious and taking hallucinogens to explore the depths of our powerful minds is pretty woooaahhh. The following sketches were drawn during our “trip” (that word is super gay, it reminds me of that scene in Garden State where Zac Braff takes a lob and goes “I guess I’ll see you guys later” which is so not true, he will see them all night long, except he will have dried spit in the corners of his mouth and he’ll be really annoying to talk to).
Um yeah, so basically all we thought about was what popular bands would be like if they had giraffes fronting them. We also wrote a list of great inventions throughout time:
Anyway then we went for a walk and tried to break into this abandoned house and our legs shrunk as we walked and the next day at work I had to hide in the cupboard under the stairs a la Harry Potter because I thought I was gonna barf.
THE END. LOVE CLARE.
NEXT EPISODE: A photographic journey of the time we dropped a-bombs and went on a hike in Dunsborough. That trip spawned the infamous Pelsy drawings and the coining of the term “niggernuts” to talk about gingernuts, because Arnotts Biscuits is basically being racist again rangas.
23 hours ago