Wednesday, November 19, 2008

nina vs. everyonelse

nina vs. the mentally unstable.
nyargh level: 4/10
the other day i was standing near the museum, quietly, unknowingly on my way too my job as a slave in mount lawley. i spot a briefcase near the timetable and start too get a little 'edgy' thinking it could be some form of terrorist attack or a rebelling against the recission attck. either option meant a bomb, which i was standing 5ft from.
i stood there trying not too act freaked out but tried too face away from the "bomb" thinking, if im going too get fucked up at least i can be a quassimodo with an okay face (phewph!)
in my line of vision i spot this mid 40s man smoking a pipe but kind or stumbling around like he is kind of high or something.
this man is what i like too call a crazy. perth seems too have a high density of these mentally unstable, crazy, middleaged people who lack general motor skills and/or social skills.
so the crazy in question is flailing about and spots some rubbish on the ground near the bin. he picks up the mangled chip packet biffs it in the bin and then picks up an old copy of xpress which someone appears too have shat on.
he props himself up on the bin, opens the soiled newspaper and proceeds too nod at every passer by although it is his duty too "give everyone a good start too the day"
may i remind you this crazy is sitting on a BIN, like actually ON the fucking bin with obviously a high tolerance too unhygenic furniture and im sure it dosent matter anyway he probably dosent brush his teeth.
anyway crazy, deciding his deed for the day is accomplished falls off the bin and intoo the suitcase which turns out too be his.
in all honesty i find the fact he owns a briefcase a tad unnerving like maybe hes some undercover person from waapa out on the streets method acting hardcore and is maybe secretly hugh jackman?

nina vs. cuntstomers.
nyargh level: 8/10
if you are any form of public servant slave person (retail, hospitality) you are sure too be truly knowledgble on the hot topic of CUNSTOMERS.
eg. old, decrepid, rotting woman places an order. similarly old and decrepid friend places order directly after woman. i charge them. rotting woman snaps "she charged us together, its so presumptuous"
HI! im right here you fucking idiot. okay now i have yr attention let me clear this up for you. you, old menopausal woman places order. you offer me no form of payment and yr friend orders 2 second after. when i tell you the total price (which is obviosly alot more than the one beverage you ordered) you dont correct me by saying "were paying seperately"
so yes i am fucking presumptuous. AND RIGHTLY SO.
eg. guy comes in and orders some form of drink and then tells me he wants a "vegetable queef" i said "sorry sir do you mean the vegetable QUICHE?" (cleary stated on the label)
"NO." he says getting aggravated over the food product. "i want the vegetable QUEEF" (points too vegetable quiche) "the pronounciation is QUEEF not queef.''
guy feels triumphant as i, poorly educated slave girl (probably a boat person) is clearly showing my lack of education.
i have this constant smile on my face but i have an undying urge too hit these people across the face with wet towels. or slowly torture them by tying them down and squeezing lemon in their eyes.

CONCLUSION: i need these people like a wet fart too the face.

yr annoyance experiencing blogger,

1 comment:

Jane Donut said...

I would have totally told him that a queef is a vagina fart. Probably the reason I don't work retail.